This is an excerpt from The Sardine Can's newsletter concerning the Sausage's trip to Put In Bay with us:



The World Famous Velcro Pygmies play Put-In Bay, OH

This past weekend would normally have been Warehouse Party weekend, but since the city denied us a a permit to have them play outdoors again (an outrage of epic proportions), Boyd, Zim and Brett decided that hey, it doesn't mean we can't still see the Velcro Pygmies play somewhere.  Just so happens the Pygmies played four straight nites at a place known as Put-In Bay, Ohio.  It's a small island in Lake Erie just north of Sandusky, Ohio.  Our first thought was "Lake Erie - come on!!"  But friends told us great things about it so we went. Note: one of the things they told us was that the island is nicknamed "Disneyland for Drunks".  Had to go.

Now many of you may not believe this, but Boyd owns his own plane.  And the FAA is foolish enough to let him fly the damn thing.  What normally would be an 8-9 hour car ride and then a ferry was a quick 2 hour, 15 minute flight to a gorgeous little island where Boyd quickly proceeded to come in too damn high the first time and had to go around again before he mercifully got that death machine on the ground.   That was his last sober minute for three days.

What proceeded after this was a series of debacles that can be summarized as follows:

1)  The island is small.  Everyone travels on golf carts so we rented a 6-passenger luxury model and quickly smashed it into a parked minivan.  Our golf cart driver will remain nameless to avoid embarassment (it was Brett).   The crash blew out the steering and we ended up hitching golf cart rides or taxis the rest of the trip.  The lady that owned the mini-van was cool though.  "Shit happens" she said.  We love this island already. The cart was still on the front lawn of a nearby cabin when we left.  Brett was nicknamed "Andretti" by our neighbors.

2) Zim had a little too much to drink one afternoon at the pool bar and decided to remove his swmsuit in the pool.  Somebody tossed it onto the top  of the rock waterfall where he had to climb out naked to get it.  That image is still seared onto everyone's brain who was there.

3) They call this place the Key West of the Midwest and it became apparent immediately why: (1) It's a beautiful island, (2) there are bars everywhere and (3) extremely drunk people are in the MAJORITY.  The main difference was the complete lack of gays and street bums.  If the weather was good year round, this place would put Key West out of business!!!

4) The Velcro Pygmies put on great shows as always and the locals (mostly Ohio folks) figured that out right away and packed Mr. Ed's where they played.  Boyd as usual had way too much to drink at their shows and has now sworn off alcohol forever.  He's only allowed beer and wine now and refers to Cameron (lead singer) exclusively as "THE ENABLER".

5) We stayed at a place called the Island Resort, which is basically about 100 cabins in a large subdivision all surrounding a central pool area.  They should just call the place "100 House Parties".  When the bars close at 2, we could always find a still-raging bash and just invite ourselves in.  We have the beer bong in Wisconsin.  They prefer the beer bazooka in Ohio.   It's really just a water gun that sucks in beer, they stick it in your mouth and blast the contents down your throat.  Simple and just what we needed after a nite of boozing at the Pygmie show.  Ohio people are polite in that they ask if you want the one or two beer version.  Boyd opted for one.  Zim took two.  Brett took one of our other house guests home and crashed the golf cart on the way. 

All things considered, we'll be back!!!