So it isn't that late but it feels late. I had a big but not big day. I feel emotional today. I cannot help it. I look at old photos of Bonnie and wow. Just wow. She has come so far. And she has farther to come. She will be fine. But then, do I give the other kids enough time? I mean, Bonnie does take time. Lots of time. But she is so worth it, seeing improvement almost daily.

So what did I do today? Made a new friend, Anna. She was great. Missed out on mom's club, I just didn't get it together. David took Bonnie for a walk in the wagon. She cried when leaving but then got happy but then cried when back. Perfect. She is getting independent.

Thing is, this should really be my last baby. And so really, this time really, this is it! So I put a lot of effort into her. She is wonderful.

If it didn't take so damned long to upload photos, I would add more.

Okay, I need sleep. Then I'll write more tomorrow... or the next day... who knows? Tomorrow is Shriners for speech and then OT. Yeah! And then family dinner. Yes, we still eat like a family, all together for dinner. Boys used to hate it but then appreciated it and now they are just realizing... this isn't going to last forever!

Arthrogryposis isn't so bad. G-tube isn't so bad. Peanut allergy isn't so bad. But man I wish she would just talk. This is one kid I'll never say shut up to..... or is it one I pray someday I WILL say shut up to.... I am not as strong as God must think I am. I really am not. I put on a good show. I feel so weak. I need help and support.