"I'd like to emancipate you...out of your pants!"

"Baby, you look you haven't gotten any action in four score and seven years."

"Wanna shake hands with my Vice President Johnson?"

"How about I give you a shot in the head?"

"Hey beautiful, wanna try out my stovepipe?"

"How far's the ol' log inn?"

"Wanna debate the little giant*? I'm real tired of being a lonely master debater."

"Hi, I'm the 16th President of the United States, and I want to put it in your butt."

"Trust me, this thing on my face is just a mole."

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* "Little Giant" was Stephen Douglas' nickname. Don't know who he is? Wikipedia him, 'cause I ain't gonna do your heavy lifting just 'cause you fell asleep in fifth grade history class. And, for those of you rolling your eyes at my geekiness, be happy that I didn't post the one about the plot to steal his body. Lordy, even I was embarrassed about that one.