Guess who watched the Grammys tonight?
My Observations:
I hate U2 so much. I cant even explain why I hate them so much- my mind burns as red as the oh-so-hip-two-years-ago video bullshit that played behind them while Bono counted like a retarded Spaniard at the mention of their name. That said, watching them win a few trophies was a major highlight of this years ceremony, because watching Bono drunkenly slur some rant about how he has Daddy issues was way more interesting than the rest of the circle jerk. Plus, it demonstrated that the Academy is willing to make a tough collective decision and award some boring-ass irrelevant aging rock stars. At least we know Hells still warm.
Anyone who scats poorly over Herbie Hancock should immediately lose their microphone privileges. So should R&B singers who cant manage to sing a song without warbling. Listen to a James Carr record and call me when you get a clue.
Paul, just quit already. What little you had in the songwriting department is gone. Come home brother, everything is better is crap, and deep down you know it.
Bono is a knob- a tedious blowhard of a knob.
The Sly Stone tribute was so incredibly bad- in that youre embarrassed for the performers because theyre not embarrassed for themselves kind of way. It makes me wonder if the shows producers secretly hate him. Seriously,- who the fuck are Maroon 5 anyway? was (Incidentally, I want that bass players gig. All he did was hit the root notes over and over again. And here Ive been playing the fifth like a sucker.) And couldnt they have borrowed Paul McCartneys keyboard stand? Then we couldve pretended that Sly Stone: 1. didnt have a broken hand, and 2. wasnt actually playing anything as far as I could tell. And whoever buried Robert Randolph behind Joe Perry should just go back to flipping burgers. Sly looked badass, though. And he had the good sense to leave the trainwreck early. And he has a custom-made blacklight-lit recording console. God, hes badass.
Things that happen in every awards show musical performance that need to be put
to pasture: 1. Inorganic Duets (See: Paul McCartney and JayZ/LinkinPark, Maroon 5
and anybody) 2. Starting the song from the audience (See: Jamie Foxx and Kayne West)
3. The Big Gospel Choir Ending (See: Mariah Carey) and 4. Digging up lifeless corpses
to sing Greatest Hits (See: Paul McCartney)
I wasnt paying attention at the beginning of the Jamie Fox/Kayne West song, and
when they introduced Foxs fake college marching band as being from J,FU, I
thought it was a dig at Jay-Z. I was really disappointed to realize it wasnt.
Bruce Springsteens performance was absolutely captivating. I respect Bruce
Springsteen, but I never really got why people waxed so poetic about him. Tonight
brought me a long way towards understanding.
I am someone who spends approximately 75 percent of his time thinking about,
playing or listening to music. Despite this, Ive never heard of approximately 60
percent of the nominees.
Anything Id say about the Best Country Anything categories would be a waste of
breath. Im just happy that I resisted the urge to put my Tele through the screen.
The New Orleans and Wilson Pickett tribute at the end won. First off, Davey Faragher
and Pete Thomas are an awesome rhythm section. Secondly, Sam Moore (Why do I
always type an extra e at the end of Sam, too?) was inspiring, as was Allen
Toussaint. Tonight promised good things about the album that Toussaint and
Costello are putting out later this year.
Did I mention that I hate Bono? Cause I do.
(If you want a copy of Neko Case's new album, hunt me down. The only catch is that
you have to promise to buy it when it comes out.)