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Kim



Last Updated: 3/15/2007

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Gender: Female
Status: Single
Age: 21
Sign: Cancer

City: Davao City
State: Mindanao
Country: PH
Signup Date: 1/26/2004

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Shiver
Monday, January 08, 2007 

Current mood:  cold
Damn, it slipped.  I completely forgot how to start this entry, but I know that what I was supposed to say was profound if not obnoxiously pseudo-intellectual.   I don't know.  At least these days I'm not talking using someone else's voice - an ability I'm occassionally tempted to perform.  And speaking of which, it took me quite a while to keep myself in check. Call me a schizo, but when I'm around people who influence me a great deal, my mind starts to mimic their speech patterns which later do some talking inside my head. This may seem hard to believe for some people especially to those who tell me how calm and harmless I seem to be.  I am noisy inside my head and have an ample amount of neurosis at bay, which can mean also that if I do snap, it could turn me in to a contender for a mental institution, although I haven't quite stepped beyond toying with the idea.  Anyway, these voices...they speak for me sometimes whenever I don't feel like talking.  I know I speak someone else's voice when I forget that I'm talking or I don't believe in what I say.  I speak as someone else especially when I lie.  Or maybe this is what I tell myself to try to imagine myself guilt-free.  Or I'm a fucking schizo.  Hahaha.  Anyway, I'm diving into a quicksand here, help me out.

(Warning: Cover your nose to stop yourself from bleeding.) And I'd like to share the metaphysical assertion behind accidental forms. What of the blueness of blue and the hairness of hair?  There are things that are undisputedly a priori.  And Shakespeare comes to mind suddenly, that indeed some things (e.g. love)  are not itself which alters when it alteration finds.  It's scary that the world is immovable that way and that we are helplessly trapped by what is a priori and men are hapless beings that move about to redesign within design.  Recreation of creation, is comforting but the truth is, we have no absolute control over creation except over the creation that we are.   Which is to say the most control we have is the control we have over the indissolubility of ourselves from the fact that we too are creations with no a priori, except what asserts itself to be in biological terms.  Even that is a questionable a priori since existence is too complex a miracle as it is to be reduced as a product of mere biology. 

Existence is the only thing in the world that is not accidental.
7:25 AM
 
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