The school gave my kids catalogs of Helen Grace Chocolate and gift wrapping for a School Fundraiser. The school gives them a catalog full of chocolate and candy and asks them to go sell it to strangers?   Thank you school. I spent days warning my children about not accepting candy from strangers,

We went to the neighbors to sell them. Only to find out that now my kids are considered solicitors.  This is what we heard in less than one block of houses:

Our carpet is clean and we don't have termites. 

You're a cult and we don't want to talk to you.

I don't want your watch tower magazine. 

My son replied it's not a watch tower it's Helen Grace. They answered back.  We don't want to know about her teachings.

Another neighbor picked two kinds of Chocolate.  My 6 year old, God bless the honesty of the kids, said to him. "Are you sure you need more chocolate?  I said honey you're a sales person now, you cannot tell the truth.  Just give enough facts and wait.

One neighbor bought some.  But as he was writing the check, his wife stormed downstairs and grabbed the check book from him and said:  "We don't have any money to spend.  You're always spending money we don't have.  What's wrong with you?" and then she smiled at my daughter and said: No sweetheart.  My husbands have a spending problem.  We don't want any chocolate today, and shuts the door.  My 9 year old said You don't need chocolate, you need a different wife. I said: I'll drop by the E-Harmony catalog tomorrow.

Then another neighbor bought stuff and wanted a proof that we will deliver.  I told him that we are his neighbors and we will deliver it.  He said what if you move before then?

Oh I can picture the conversation with my wife at night: honey let's sell the house, find a new one, Hire a moving company, so we can con our neighbor of the $7 Chocolate bar."

People are getting suspicious lately.  Kids today are not as innocent as we used to be.  I promised my daughter something and did the Pinky promise thing, but I guess that's not enough anymore. She needs another finger promise.

What's the aspiration for my kids?  If they sell $50,000 worth of chocolate they get a rubber chicken.  Now I have a neighborhood going into a diabetic coma, and having marriage conflicts so my kids can play with a rubber chicken. 

A month later a neighbor is asking: "How's your kids doing on that fundraiser? Did they get their rubber chicken yet, I got my insulin pump and I'm moving because the wife is keeping the house."