How do you say, there, flapjack?

Gweetings from the center’s heart of our country’s great capital of our nation’s America, Washington, District Of Columbus or whatever.  I’m told that I have quite a lot of a few things to report to you, faithing and dearful reader, so stop whatever you’re reading and read on!

Let us just see, then, shall we?  I reckon it’s been PERNT near two or even more than two days or more since I relayed any soul-crushing informations to your direction area.  There have been a whoooole lot of things that have happened since then, and even more things that HAVEN’T happened... about which would you first like to hear?

A McRib was had.  But even more than one McRib was had:  two McRibs were had.  Christian and Jason successfully ended The Boys Themselves’ Exciting McRib Have Campaign, which was commenceded in November 2006.  Thank you to the hundreds of yous that relayed McRib tracking information to the Boys.  It’s been three years, and it was almost worth it.

SE did sounds tossing in Norfolk, VA at THE BOOT.  Local hostiles crammed themselves together in a vile display called THE FUN ZONE, creating a malicious gravitational pull that SUCKED in and destroyed neighborhood children and pets.  The Boys says waaaaaay thanking to you to Paul, Emily, Jack, Tom, Westbound, and an extra speciality thankingness to Kris for the Cherry Lime Rickys.

Between like right now and the next somewhat-anticipated S.E.T.J., do you, the gentlest readers, have any quellshions or inquiries that you would like to make AT THE BAND?  Which of The Boys hasn't eaten anything so far on tour?  How can the Boys possibly play a blistering four hour set EVERY NIGHT?  Do you wonder these things and also more of these things?  Axe away.

The Boys are calling for their Vitamin Water sponge baths.  Returning is something that I will do for you!

Your Uncontrollable Substance,

Henrius Pontier
via the Intellikrom 3000 v.3000