The designers are made to sit with their backs to the runway. I think, "Okay, it's a mob challenge and they are going to make outfits to be executed in. Odd, but I'm on board. I hope someone has to make spats out of old margarine containers."
Sigh. No such luck. Nuts.
The designers turn around and they are faced with their winning designs. (Except for Logan. Since he never won, he has to take his clothes off. I KID! They selected his dress from the very first challenge - which honestly is a dress I don't even remember.)
Heidi challenges them to turn them into Kabuki garments so that she, Tim, Nina, Michael and the interns can put on a play for the designers. (I WISH!) Instead she tells them to create a companion piece that compliments and enhances their best runway look. Wha-wah. Don't get me wrong, this is a good challenge.... but it's boring after 934850394583 "make a dress out of real fabric" challenges. (To whom do I pitch the Kabuki challenge to? Seriously, I want names.)
In the work room, Tim Gunn waits with jaded breath for the designers. He tells them they have 30 minutes to sketch, a budget of $100 and that they only have until midnight to complete their looks.
Althea: "Carol Hannah and I are, like, totally twins!"
Carol Hannah: "I'm skinnier."
Christopher: "OH snap."
Gordana: "I promise I'm not laughing at your pee-pee dance, Irina."
Logan: "I'm laughing on the inside."
Off to Mood! 30 minutes to shop...
Tim Gunn: "Remember, designers, you need to... um.. you
need to... LOGAN. Your 'pencil' is distracting me. Greatly."
Tim Gunn: "Is there an 'H'?"
Althea: "Nope."
Tim Gunn: "You know, I hate playing Hangman. I never win."
Tim Gunn: "Carol Hannah, I assert that if I had a newspaper I'd smack you
on the nose, young lady. NO. BAD. NO. Now go sit in the corner. Daddy's mad."
Tim Gunn: "Listen, Ricky, I mean Christopher, just go away.
You anger me. And why on earth is your beard like that?
Does your upper lip have a hair phobia?"
Christopher: "I haven't learned how to grow hair there."
Tim Gunn: "I can actually taste my disdain for you."
THANK YOU MOOOOOOOOOOOOD!
WORKROOM:
Carol Hannah can't really figure out what she wants to do. Her winning the design is the black sequin/feather gown from the Bob Mackie challenge. So in order to think, she gets a cup of coffee. (For real, that's not me being an ass.)
Irina yammers about her winning Aspen look from the Michael "Lame Ass" Kors challenge the week previous. She's going for an "office look." Um, okay? I know people go to work in Aspen, but I'd make a snowsuit before I make something for the office.
Althea is making a piece to go with her "winning" look that was a pair of black diaper pants and that came with a free-range boob shirt. Honestly, I thought the look was a hot mess. So now she's making the same outfit, but with longer pants and a sweater instead of a jacket.
"Buuuuuh. I' will love it and sew it and I will call it fashion."
Now. I don't have a picture of this (and "screen captures" off Tivo eludes me) but there's a shot of Logan walking and... is his "pencil" causing his legs to bow? Is there so much real estate being taken up in his pants that he has to walk like that? (A girl can dream...) Or does the boy have rickets? Either way, I'm here to help. Whatever you need, Logan.
Ahem....
OH MY GOD. We come back from commercial to 2 solid minutes of "I'm so lucky to be here" and "Oh my bobbins, Bryant Park is so close!" BOOOO! STOP FILLING TIME WITH EMPTINESS! BOOOOO!
Christopher is making a dress out of 30 yards of lining as he loves volume. (Except in his beard. BOO-YAH.)
TIM GUNN CRITIQUES:
"I am so going to Cabo when this is over."
Carol Hannah is up first. She tells Tim her dress is a big scary mess to wit, he replies, "You're not going to get an argument from me." He then figures it all out for her with the fabric and then convinces her she thought of it. Whatever! Favorites, Tim! It's obvious! (But really, I can't blame him...)
Tim Gunn: "My God, I'm a hulking brute next to you, you tiny thing you.
Hmmm... Methinks we should do this more often. I feel like a bear!"
Next he humors Irina. She yaks about a skirt and top but then tells him about her repeat sweater look along with a dress. Whatever. Shut up, Kenley!
Christopher tells Tim how he's revisiting his last dress, but longer. Tim is concerned as his winning look is youthful and his new look is matronly.
Althea is next. Tim just calls a spade a spade re: the pants: "I'm concerned about the transition between the tight fit at the bottom to the volume up at the waist line, because right now it looks like its waiting for a diaper." BUWHAHAHHAHAA! Amen.
Tim Gunn: "I'm standing over here because you do nothing for my figure."
Next, Logan! Tim greets him with: "Logan! I'm excited already!" (Insert pencil joke here. Tee hee - I said "insert.") He tells Tim that he's going crazy and pumping up the volume with... zippers. He's making the collar completely out of zippers. At this point, Althea lets us know that his collar matches something else she's made this season already. (Really? You had a zipper collar on the Christina Aguilera challenge? Boy wouldn't it have been nice of the producers to point that out in THAT episode so I would know what she's referencing NOW???)
Gordana shows Tim a very sad and tired, matronly jacket and dress based off the Divorcee (Pre-Loved!) challenge. Tim is not wowed.
Meanwhile... Irina and Althea are quietly bitching about Logan ripping off Althea's zipper collar. Althea says: "I hate Logan." Irina counters with: "I've taught you well, Grasshopper." (She doesn't, but she thinks it...)
There are 4 1/2 hours left in the day.... Tim tells them to fit their models and use their time well. Irina comments that Christopher's dress looks like one dress throwing up another. I can't concentrate on what's happening here as there are a lot of naked model shots here and I'm like, "Wow, I need to exercise. A lot."
Althea continues her rampage against Logan: "He thinks just because he's cut he can do whatever he wants." Um, yes. You're in LA. That's doctrine here. Get with it.
The models leave and everyone panics as time is really tight. (Tee hee - I said "tight." Sorry, I got nothing here...)
MIDNIGHT! Pumpkin carriage awaits... or a yellow cab. Either.
RUNWAY MORNING:
Okay, so STILL no bacon but at least Logan is wearing his silver jeans. HUBBA.
In the workroom, everyone scurries to get done. Christopher has about 100 petals to sew onto his dress. YEEKS! I actually worry that he won't finish and actually have the slightest hope that HE'S going home, not Logan. But then I remembered, "Logan had the 'auf'd' sound bite slot. Sigh. Pooop."
Gordana realizes she needs a hook and eye and Irina won't even humor her. We then get the sound bite of "I'm not here to make friends." OH TRITENESS. Logan lets us know that Irina's nickname is "Meana Irina." (Really? Was Asshole Princess taken?)
"Let's just get this over with, shall we?"
Althea continues her tear and rips into Carol Hannah for never making anything other than dresses. (To be fair, Althea issued an apology for her bitchiness on in the internet this week - so she's aware of how she came off and apologized.) But man, she really was painted her the villain this week!
Hair and make-up time!
Kojii: "Ooooh, no. A pic of me in the chair? Oh I'm so going home..."
Dude: "Shhh, just hold the hairspray. I'm creating back here!"
RUNWAY:
Gosh I can't imagine why we didn't get a full body pic of Heidi in her HIDEOUS outfit! Seriously. A ringleader jacket, a "Talbots" blouse and silver culottes that make her thighs look HUGE. (PS - She ain't huge.) Her stylist should be EXECUTED! (If only the designers were making outfits for that! BAH!)
The judges this week are former PR alum and FIDM teacher, Nick Verreos, Nina Garcia and actress Kerry Washington.
"It's okay, I don't know who I am either."
TOP 2:
CAROL HANNAH:
This was my fave look this episode. And what you can't see in this photo is the dress has pockets! SQUEEE! I love dresses with pockets. So stylish and functional. I also love the "old Hollywood" styling that Carol Hannah has done with Lisa. It really fits her model and her dress. Bravo! (Lifetime!)
The judges love it too. I was really sad that she didn't win. But I'm just glad that someone else also didn't win....
IRINA:
HAHAHHAA! Irina didn't win! HAHAHHHAHHAHHAAA! Sigh. Thank you, Thor.
She now calls this an "evening look." Nicolas thinks it's "uptown chic." They all love the elegant/cozy factor of the look. But Nina hates the fabric of the dress. Heidi points out that she's the only one who didn't like it. (REMEMBER: This is the lady who LIKED the neoprene squid ink accident dress. So there you have it.)
WINNER:
ALTHEA:
F'ING HELL. I know she's wearing pasties (as she says so in
Models of the Runway), but SWEET WATER BALLOONS, wrangle those things in! PLEASE! It's not a good look. It looks like they are trying to escape. And this WON. Whatever. Heidi LOVES this look, which basically ensured Althea the win. Whatever Heidi likes, Heidi gets.
The judges bring up: "Who has the big sweater first? You or Irina?" OH MY! Never mind Logan's zipper collar which none of the judges (Heidi) remembered seeing before. Irina nails Althea by telling everyone that she made the original oversized sweater last week. She goes on to say that there's been a lot of "inspiration" going on in the workroom. I hate to say it, but true!
BOTTOM 2:
GORDANA:
Awwww! Poor Matar! This beautiful, young girl looks like she's a million years old and unfortunate looking. And I keep waiting to hear her say, "Where's the beef?"
But moreover.... WHAT IS WITH THE POLIO SHOES, GORDANA? NOT PRETTY.
Gordana thinks that this has an element of edginess but with elegance. Say wha--?
None of the judges like it, nor do they enjoy what she's done to Matar. Heidi lets her know Matar looks old and drab. Nicolas comments, "She looks like an office worker in Nassau, Poland."
CHRISTOPHER:
Katie makes this bedskirt look good! I wish the white junk wasn't there and it was just the top black part as the dress. I think that would have been stunning. This is just... not working.
(But Christopher is wearing a hoodie on the runway, so I gotta heart him even though he makes me a little crazy...)
Nina hates the proportion of this and calls her a "carnival float." Nobody else likes it. Whatsherface repeats what Irina said in the workroom, but with more class: "I think you have two dresses there." Amen.
AUF'D:
LOGAN:
DAMMIT, LOGAN! You know I heart you but
what is this mess??? Why does it look like she has bra straps falling down her arms. WHAT in blazes is that "skirt"? Is your bad case of rickets interfering with your thinking? Do you need more calcium? Vitamin D? What? Mama's here to help because I AM WORRIED THAT YOU THOUGHT THIS WAS GOOD.
He pitches it as a VMA's dress w/ Pink in it. (I'm thinking more Lady Gaga.) The judges are actually laughing - they hate it that much. Nina calls it a student project, Nicolas says it looks 80's (and in that way that you know he means the 'bad' 80's) but at the same time has a futuristic Judy Jetson thing going on. Heidi says she didn't mean for him to do THIS when she said, "Pump it up."
Sigh..... So off goes our beautiful, wonderful Logan into the fashion great beyond.
He says in his exit bite that, "I'm not a designer that's for middle America or 90% of the population." UMMM... you may want to work on that. I'm not saying start making sweatshirts with collars that has a kitten frolicking on it, but if you want to sell clothes and eat food, you may want to expand. Just a bit. But I still heart you. Let me know when you start designing hoodies. I'll buy them in bulk.
****
Models of the Runway blog coming out soon!
(It's 1am... well, midnight cuz we get to 'fall back' but this biddy
is tired and needs her beauty rest. LOTS of beauty rest.)
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