My first couple months of 2008 have been intense. There are people that I feel like I haven’t talked to for WAY too long, and then other people who have happily drifted back into my life. I guess that’s the way it goes.

People come in and out of our lives... I let people float out of touch myself, too, I guess—but leaving the door open for our friendship to continue some other time in another place in our lives. We can be so lazy with the people we care about.

My birthday was a recent high point in the up-and-down pattern of life. My job was going great. I had an exciting trip to look forward to. I had hope in my dating life. But then things changed.

I had a string of crappy dates and awkward letdowns. I’m not a perfect date. I get that. But it was hammered home this morning when I saw a rambling, "’I’m acting like I’m freaking out about dating people right now’ (but secretly it’s more because I don’t want to see you any more)" email from a cute someone who I thought I was having a great time getting to know. Why do I always have to act aloof and disinterested in the ones I like for fear that they’ll get freaked out?

I had the work trip to New York City, which was really great (saw Rent in its final months, got to bond with my great coworkers, got to see some interesting parts of the city and eat at some incredible restaurants). But then it all kind of went downhill when I lost my camera and all these incredible pictures (luckily just from the NYC trip).

And I had one of those semi-panicky realizations you get every few years when you feel your career stalling to a halt with no hope of advancement. And you try to express your feelings and you get the, "Stay patient. Nobody cares about your career as much as you do... " speech. Why is it that your responsibilities and stress grow so much faster than a paycheck or your station at work?

I’m just feeling a bit burnt out—with work, with my apartment of six years, with dating.

Now I’m stuck waiting for that next peak, my next high point, like I had in February.

Minor blips of recent satisfaction have been: Last night’s awesome Nada Surf show at the Show Box that Tricia was nice enough to go to with me at the last moment; a zany bowling trip after work last Monday where I bowled an awesome game; the quirky book of short stories, "No One Belongs Here More Than You," by Miranda July that I’m reading; and preparing my speech for my legislative district caucus next Saturday.

Is it passe to still support Hillary? I don’t care. I seem to be swimming upstream in every other way in life, too, so why should caucusing for my favorite candidate be any different.

I keep telling myself... "Justin, life will get easier... Life will get easier." I know it will.