first show ann arbor.
good spirits found their way to this first show.
my force field was not up yet and felt very vulnerable. and i was working hard to keep an even keel. so much to remember and bring together. people were very gracious and i think enjoyed the extra layer of watching a musician go from envisioning to real.

i saw my cd for the first time and i am thrilled with how it looks. sotoma did a beautiful job. people  had a chance to buy it before it is ‘released’.

and now, the second thing i want to say. i have lost interest in playing normal clubs. you stand outside the club, people look at display window and say ‘who’s playing tonight?’ poster is wrinkled and out of view. they shrug and walk away. the next day someone on street says ‘i love your music! what are you doing in town?’. half-filled clubs, dressing rooms with dirty socks under chairs, no towels to wash before the show, complaints that your rider asks for an iron and ironing board of all diva-ish things.  i don’t want to use up energy trying not to feel upset before a show. and now i don’t feel upset so much as it was a good reminder of how i have lost all interest in doing concerts in these kinds of places. so, no plans to play there again.  this very common club posture creates a dull, dying energy which i am more than ever happy to walk away from. and to walk towards  people bringing music out of the clubs and into their communities in a more efficient way. house concerts, salons. i accept all that this brings.
(note: the staff tonight were very caring, and apologetic.)

and now, my mind is swimming with threads waving in the air that didn’t quite get tied in tonight. my stomach hurts and i feel like i’m half jumping out of my skin, but i also know tonight was a good, important night and the perfect people sat in the dark room with me, helping me. and the future is bright.

so said the seventh rabbit.
goodnight.