I am so tired of men, or well, boys who think they are men. Boys who think that they know everything and that no matter what they do, they're fuckin right.
To be a little more specific, Leif. Today he decided to tell me that he doesn't "give a fuck about" me and that I am "incapable" of having an adult conversation with anyone. The fucked up part, well to be honest, the whole situation is fucked, is that I was the one talking, and he was the one yelling and interupting me like a fuckin child. Then he decided that I'm just a bitch and that he's leaving.
Now, I understand that people say shit when they're mad, so I asked him if that's really what it is. If he's really leaving and if he really doesn't love me or care about me anymore. He then screamed, "Believe whatever the fuck you wanna believe! It don't matter what I fuckin say anyway, you'll just turn it into what you wanna hear, you dumb bitch!"
WTF?!? You just said that you don't give a fuck about me and now your tellin me that I can "believe what [I] wanna believe." And that if I "believe that you don't give a fuck that [I'm] stupid"?!? You just fuckin said you didn't......
Make up your damn mind!!!!
You tell me that I'm "sittin on [my] ass not doin anything at all with [my] life", that I'm "goin no where" and I'm a "bum" because I'm not workin... YOU'RE THE ONE LIVIN AT MY MAMA'S HOUSE, RENT AND BILL FREE, BUT YET YOU STAY BROKE BECAUSE YOUR TELLIN ME THAT YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN PAID FROM ANY, AND I MEAN ANY OF THE JOBS THAT YOU'VE BEEN "WORKING" ON!
...but yet, I am the "bum"...
OH, and I say that I'm tired of bein lied to... and I'm tired of bein the one tryin to do right and not screw up...and you know exactly what I'm talkin about... but you're the one doin the shit that we're not supposed to be doin, BEHIND MY BACK!
What in the hell are you thinkin? You wanna tell me that I'm wrong? You wanna tell me that I'm not tryin to better my life? You wanna tell me for a damn year that we need to stop doin what we've been doin, so I try to stop, but you're the one, ONCE AGAIN, doin that same shit behind my back...
Does it make you feel like a man to lie to your woman and to make her cry? ...to bring her so much pain and stress? ...to tell her that you're NOT goin to support her emotionally because she doesn't have a job?!? Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't your mama raise you better than that? I'm sure if your mama knew about everything that you've said to me, all the hurtful things you've said AND done, that she would be fuckin ashamed of you!
I can't believe that you have the nerve to tell me that when you lie to me and do shit behind my back, that it's none of my business! And that when I ask you if you'd like it if I lied to you and hid shit like you do to me, you tell me that you "couldn't give a fuck less."
I'll never understand how any man can take for granted the fact that his girl has forgiven him so many times for things that no other woman would've - or in some cases, could've - forgiven him for. How any man cannot care and not have his heart wrenched when he makes his girl cry, when he is the one in the wrong. How any one man can have so much pride to not apologize for the dispicable things that he's done. How any man can be so self-consumed that he runs from every problem that he encounters, no matter how much he is hurting anyone else, let alone the woman who has given her ENTIRE HEART to him.
And how you, Leif, cannot realize how much I've been there for you and stuck by your side through all the good and bad times. Through all the tears and the shouting. Through all the hurtful words. Through all the unforgivable things that I've forgiven you for.
Even if you really have lost the love that you once had & showed so strongly for me...
Even if you really, honestly don't care anymore...
Even if we are truly finished this time...
Or even if you're not finished this time...
I AM.
And I hope you have a nice life. I hope you learn to grow up and to put others' feelings before your own selfish whims. I hope you can someday learn to be honest, if not with others than at least with yourself...
You cheated.
You cheated and you thought you might get away with it.
One thing you obviously didn't count on...
...my friends aren't like yours... they let me know when someone that I've shared my life with is fuckin me over...
And you have the nerve to tell people that I cheated on YOU? Oh yea, I've heard all about it... I sure did.
Oh and you "Love" her, so why did you feel the need to lie to her about the other hoes you cheated on me with and apparently cheated on her with, too?
And why did you feel the need to lie to her about us being together still?
I guess you just have a distorted view of love and all that it entails...
See, when you love someone, really truly love someone, you are honest with them. Sometimes so honest that it hurts. But if you truly love this person, you shouldn't feel a need to withhold the REALITY of your life. Of your past, present, and future.
Obviously you have real love and puppy love confused still. And how old are you? Hmmmm....
Oh, you are such a charmer...