You know this just selfishly hating myself for doing this once more with you!   Taking the time to care what you thought about… I thought you could care about someone outside of yourself. In life we realize those sometime things we just can’t have and your one thing I tried to obtain again and just failed to achieve. I’m a better person for this and no tiers will be shear for you this go around. I put my feelings for you out there but you didn’t want or need them… was just another triumph for you.

I’ve made myself believe that I could be someone special to you, but I’ve learned I’m not that person for you! And I don’t know if you can have that person till you learn to love yourself the way I have care for you. Unfortunately there will always be a place in my heart for you… and I’m not saying that I won’t go back. I have to let you learn that you a beautiful person and you have a bright future head of you.

At this time you can not be in a relationship till you can learn to open up and let someone in. I wanted so badly to be that person but you won’t let me. There is a part of me that is saddened me the thought of you acting in this manner.

At some point in this diabolical train wreck I thought I had done something wrong, but caring about you isn’t wrong. I’ve told you time and time again that if I can’t have you as a lover then I want you as my friend. I hope that are friendship can remain strong and close as it has been for the last 4 years I know it’s been off and on but it is what it is. I can ask for nothing more or nothing less but that from you...