>Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
>
>DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize
>that he must first deal with the problem on "THIS" side of the road
>before it goes after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road. What
>we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking
>on his "CURRENT" problems before adding "NEW" problems.
>
>OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is
>why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the
chicken
>learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
>going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the
>road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.
>
>GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
>We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not.
>The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle of the
>road here.
>
>DONALD RUMSFELD : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see
the
>satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.
>
>ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but
>we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the
>road.
>
>JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am
now
>against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
>chicken's intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.
>
>JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because he's GUILTY! You can
>see it in his eyes and the way he walks.
>
>PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.
>
>MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was
>going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
>when the price dropped to a certain level.
>
>DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a
toad?
>Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been
>told.
>
>GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
>Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good
enough.
>
>BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be
>listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming
>story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
>accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.
>
>JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads
>together - in peace.
>
>ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>
>BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which will not only
cross
>roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance
>your check book. Internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.
The
>Platform is much more stable and will never cra..#@&&^( C .......
reboot.
>
>
>ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the
road
>move beneath the chicken?
>
>AL GORE: I invented the chicken!
>
>COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?