So, here we are in Palm Desert, as Teebie watches Mardy Fish hand Roger his ass on a plate, and I try to figure out why I’m never able to actually USE the 9 billion US Airways frequent flyer miles I have.

And we have learned 2 important things.

1) Drive thrus are illegal in Palm Desert.  At first, I just figured the McD’s was old so they weren’t able to go back and retrofit a drive thru.  But then we started noticing that NONE of the usual places had a drive thru. WTF?

So we asked the nice lady here at the Holiday Inn, and she confirmed it. Yep, they are outlawed. Why? Her explanation: because the rich people here figure drive thrus are lower class...that the only people who use drive thrus are ghetto or trash.

(She did forget to mention stoners. Let’s face it, paranoid stoners with the munchies are the whole reason they invented late night drive thrus in the first place.)

2) If you’re a crusty old man, who has some quivery neurotic dog that you simply MUST carry everywhere you go, the solution is to get him a little jacket that says he’s a service dog. Then they HAVE to let you bring him in the restaurant.

Maybe I’m cynical, but in my experience, service dogs:

a) Tend to weigh over 5 pounds.
b) Sit or recline on the floor. They don’t get their own chair at the restaurant, with their front paws on the freaking table.
c) Eat brown kibbles when they get home. They don’t order from the menu, then eat from their own special bowl that Crusty Man pulls out from his pocket.

::sigh::

Well, that’s it for today. This is Trash, signing out. (Since Ghetto is still asleep).