CHAIN,CHAIN,CHAIN, CHAIN OF FOOLS. To all my dear friends, thank you SO much for all the chain letters you sent me in 2003. If it weren't for you I might be dead ... or worse! Here are just a few of the ways my life has changed because of those wonderful & Informative chain letters: * I stopped drinking Coca Cola after I found out that it's good for removing toilet stains. * I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS. * I smell like a dog since I stopped using deodorants because they cause cancer. * I don't leave my car in the parking lot or any other place and sometimes I even have to walk about 7 blocks for fear that someone will drug me with a perfume sample and try to rob me. * I also stopped answering the phone for fear that they ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore and Tokyo. *I stopped buying gas at EXXON-MOBIL * I stopped consuming several foods for fear that the chemicals they contain may turn me gay. * I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because they are nothing other than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs. * I also stopped drinking anything out of a can for fear that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine. * I think I'm turning gay because when I go to parties, I don't look at any boy no matter how hot he is, for fear that he will put something in my drink, rape me, then take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice somewhere in Mexico. * I also donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. A sick girl that was about to die in the hospital about 7,000 times. Funny that girl, she's been 7 since 1993... * I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I made expecting the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail programs. * My Ericcson phone never arrived and neither did the passes for a paid vacation to Disneyland. But I am positive that all this is the cause of a stinking chain that I broke or forgot to follow or an email I didn't forward. IMPORTANT NOTE: If you don't send this e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next 10 seconds, a bird will poop on you today at 7pm and the price of gas will go to $5.00 a gallon, but only at the stations where you buy gas