It's much later than it needs to be, as far as bedtime is concerned. My car
decided not to start tonight so I have to ride with Kat tomorrow and meet
Tommy and see if we can fix it.. Should just be a battery connector issue.

     However my heart is heavy and sleep may or may not be an option. 
Not too long ago, I learned a very big lesson about forgiveness and
not judging or condemning people for anything, on the grounds that I
myself have been forgiven for things I sometimes can't even believe I did.
God used what could have been bad to teach me something really
quite beautiful and amazing that has revolutionized the way I look at all people.

     That being said, God told me a few days ago that he had something to teach 
me that would hurt, but to hold onto him and not let myself become hardened
and cynical because of it.  He told me to remember what I have learned about
grace and humanity and love and forgiveness and the fallibility of everyone...
Well, that thing is here and it's not at all what I expected, and therefore
somewhat harder to deal with.  I'll not give the details.
Actually, it doesn't involve me directly at all, so I don't need to
bring names or situations into this blog. 

Suffice it to say that my respect and trust in the decisions of someone I know
has been seriously damaged.  In the process, so have several hearts and
friendships, and based on what I know, none of this had to happen.
However old ideals, youthful stupidity- and, I would suspect, the devil Religion-
all had hands in it. I'm angry, because things were said that were far beyond
what was necessary.  When a simple "no" might have sufficed, the reasons
given bordered on personal attack from someone who knows better.
A little compromise, a touch of flexibility, could have even avoided the entire
issue. A bit of bend goes a long way to avoiding a break..
But as a result of a few people's poor decisions, an entire scheme of good
friends has been broken. Only time, and God, will tell how the pieces will come
back together.

I'm still finding it hard to forgive, to keep trusting these people. I hate that
some of them are young and having to learn some things the really, really hard
way. I hate even more that some of them aren't young at all, but can't seem
to remember how it is to be so, and perhaps have a little compassion..
I hate that they cannot realize that their opinion isn't necessarily truth, and
that no kind of power nor extent of anger gives them the right to be unloving.
 
What I hate the very most is that there are innocent people in the middle,
being unfairly treated despite their very real integrity.  Some very lovely
things have been broken and may never mend, and it just didn't have to be
this way at all.

So pray for me that I learn my lesson, and pray for them that Love will win
out and that everyone will start to make the right choices again. 

Now that I have put it out on "paper," my heart is calmer and I think I can try to sleep. 
Much love and compassion, 'cause don't you know we all need it.