...Expect it. A-hyuck.
A super-mushy poem I wrote the girlfriend, titled Good Morning, Bella*, just got picked up by another publisher. This time it's something called White Oak Press, and they're actually going to pay me for it. A few more of these little serendipitous events, and I'll almost be a minor poet, by God. If only the New Yorker published limericks.
In addition to that shocking--nay, ground-shaking--news, John Cheese and David Wong will soon be on the big screen for you all to stare at and be completely fucking confused by.
Several years ago, Wong started an incredibly retarted** series of horror story chapters on his website, the now-absorbed Pointless Waste of Time. Over time, it grew, turned into a full-fledged novel, and eventually got picked up by a publisher. It floundered at first, then kind of took off at a moderate speed.
That novel is called John Dies at the End, and is admittedly pretty damned funny. I never got to finish it, because I think it's been taken down since it went to print, but it is really good. There aren't very many humor/horror novels, unless you count Dean Koontz's entire catalogue.
What's the most awesome, yet somewhat disturbing in its coincidence, is this: a few months ago, I said that when the Dickerson movie gets made--and it will, thanks--I want Bruce Campbell to play the lead. In a strange turn of events, Don Coscarelli, the man who directed two of my all-time favorite movies, Evil Dead and Army of Darkness, is set to direct John Dies at the End. There's even an early rumor that Campbell will have a small cameo.
God DAMN it, David Wong.
At the PWoT/Cracked forums, he and I have clashed about a few things, and I guess he doesn't really like me. Well, as much as you can dislike someone you've never met. I ask a lot of stupid, uncomfortable questions, and have a tendency to ignore someone's authority when arguing about shit. But, I confess, you have to hand it to the guy: he took his weird little site, blew it up, sold it to Cracked*** for money and a high-level career with them (not to mention doing more for that site than Jay Pinkerton ever could, business-wise), wrote a book that probably cost him about three brain cells to dream up, published it, and now is getting it turned into a full-lenght feature. Whatever else I can say about him, the man can fucking market some comedy.
Now, I only hope that Mack's site will finally get the attention it deserves. Despite his various hardships, and despite being overshadowed by Wong's immense popularity, Mack Leighty is flat-out the funniest motherfucker on the internet. John Cheese is what I can only dream Dickerson could be, and the greatest compliment I ever got was a few people on the JC forums comparing Because I Wrestle Alligators to Mack's John Cheese stories. I confess that I got a little choked up about that, but only in a manly and big-penis-having way.
Anyway kids, I'm off for now. Stay tuned, though. There may be a Dickerson story in the works, featuring none other than everyone's favorite gay roos-- Er, I mean, bloody pirate.
*This poem was much the best I'd ever written, until two weeks ago, when I wrote something so beautiful that I'm almost ashamed to show it to anyone other than Kelly.
**Retarded, yes. Better than Dean Koontz? Bet your fucking farm, pardner.
***I finally gave up writing pitches for Cracked. I got tired of all the rules and bitching, and the repeated disappointments when something of mine would make it to the considered pitches thread, and languish untouched by Wong. On top of all of that, publishing the Dickerson story helped me to realize that my form of humor is valid, and I don't need the help of a site that really only does limp, formulaic stuff now. I only hope that people will start to acquie a taste for my stuff, instead of you two or three dozen faithfuls, and however many hundreds of anonymous readers I have.
Oh, and all those millions of Indians.