RAZORCAKE: Review by Todd Taylor
"My Love Is a Bat" b/w "Cloak and Dagger Complication": European Tour 7"
(Alien Snatch! Records)
Although this description may sound like ass, I promise it's not: The Marked Men meets the Mistfits. Drain any Glenn Danzig delusional weightlifting ego out of the jar, leaving only the beefy, dark melody jiggling around in the glass. Forefront the musical anxiety of the Marked Men—tightly wound guitars and voices that sound on the verge of a breakdown (that you're more than willing to sing along to as they're driving you off of a cliff)—and you've got the right mad scientist glasses on when looking at what makes the Hex Dispensers tick. Two more great songs from a band I haven't heard one bad track from yet. One to keep an eye peeled for. This was a tour 7". Five hundred made.


RAZORCAKE: Review by Todd Taylor
Lose My Cool: 7"
(Douchemaster Records)
How the Hex Dispensers are like Frankenstein's monster: 1) Lightning from above. 2) Demon-like power. 3) Pissed, but rightfully so. 4) Stomping around right after their creation, looking for friends amongst unprejudiced innocents. Except, they do it in a musical village populated by the likes of The Marked Men and The Wipers (who they cover); it's a pop-driven, power garage music world with kinship from The Brotherhood Of Electricity. How the Hex Dispensers are not like Frankenstein's monster: 1) They actually have a name. 2) When they were created, their maker didn't immediately flee and renounce his abomination. 3) The Hex Dispensers have both men and women in the band and Dr. Frankenstein ultimately reneged on his promise to make a lady monster for his dude monster, thus totally bumming his male monster out to the point where he eventually committed suicide above the Arctic Circle. Result: Hex Dispensers rock harder than a bad-ass, self-conflicted monster that could snap your neck with one hand.


MAXIMUM ROCKNROLL: Review by Tim Brooks
Hex Dispensers
"Lose My Cool" EP
(Douchemaster Records)
All hail the record assigning gang on this one; I already snagged a copy for myself and have battered it over the past couple o' weeks. One of the best new bands around in my humble opinion, lauded by the Goner/Contaminated crowd, these guys have a real crossover appeal. They kinda have a three-chord punk charm, but throw in some dark and moody elements kinda like the WIPERS...in fact, their tremendous cover of "Tragedy" on the flip gives you a clue to where these Austin-ites are heading. This is Top-Ten material without a shadow of a doubt. Can't wait to see 'em live!


MAXIMUM ROCKNROLL: Review by Mitch Cardwell
Haunted George/Hex Dispensers split 7"
(Hook or Crook Records)
Two of the past couple years' top-notch acts swap songbooks and pay tribute to each other on this exercise in inventive marketing from Hook or Crook. "Forest Ray Colson" is given the desert-fuzz treatment care of old GEORGE, which fares better than expected. Then "Pile o' Meat" is transformed into a catchy punker by the HEX DISPENSERS. They could do "We Are the World" and I'd still probably wanna drink and dance to it. A nice intro to both bands, if'n yer so inlined.


BATARANG: Review by Luke Batararang
Haunted George and The Hex Dispensers cover each other and the result is the best goddamn tune The Hex Dispensers ever recorded! Their version of Haunted George's twisted "Pile O' Meat" is a real scorcher. The misanthropic lyrics may sound sick to most people but to me they are brutally honest. After all, aren't we all a big pile o' meat, some with brains, others without? Oh wait, no time for psychoanalysis here!! Pile O' Meat is a crazy 100 mph ride (speed unit converter in km/h for European batarang readers to be found here) that clocks in at a mere 1:27 but boy-oh-boy what a rollercoaster!!


TERMINAL BOREDOM: Review by Rich Kroneiss
Hex Dispensers
Lose My Cool 7"
(Douchemaster Records)
I'm kind of confused as to why I don't like this band more. I've always enjoyed Cuervo's previous work and this sort of creepy stuff usually interests me. I guess it just sounds a little too soft for me or something. "Lose My Cool" is one of their better cuts though, really nails the whole dark garage-pop thing well and Cuervo's distinct vocals fit the music like a glove. B-Side has the horribly named "Taxidermy Porno", which is a more punk-sounding number with some bad lyrics. I know I say this often about different bands/songs, but I'm serious when I say no one should ever try to cover The Wipers. Really. Not even Poison Idea could do it properly, and they were gods among men. That sums up what I think of their version of "Tragedy". In summation, if you loved the LP (like many people did) you should be into the A-Side of this, and it honestly is a pretty good tune. The B-Side of this is some pretty weak sauce though. Scum stats: first 100 on gray vinyl.


TERMINAL BOREDOM: Review by Rich Kroneiss
Haunted George/Hex Dispensers split 7"
(Hook or Crook Records)
Upon hearing the Hex Dispensers LP, my inital reaction was Necessary Evils-lite. Maybe that sounds a little rough. Let's call it N-Evils without the LSD and with a pop bent. The inclusion of "Forest Ray Colson" seemed dodgy, as the Evils had done "Man From Mars" back in the day anyway. Not like you can't write songs about the same guy. There's probably a hundred tunes about Jack the Ripper. It just seemed to strike some all-too-familiar chords. So now we have the awkward situation of Haunted George covering that very same song, and he certainly hits this grapefruit right in the sweet spot...really, it's like he's covering himself in some roundabout way. Far better hearing him sing this, and his vox sound absolutely guttural here. His side is completed with "Pile O' Meat" from the LP. Same version. Redundant. Hex Dispensers then cover that very same song. Meh. It's over before you notice it's happening. This is then followed with their version of "Forest Ray Colson" taken from their LP. Redundant. This is surely a real nice slap-your-buddy-on-the-back, nudge-nudge wink-wink theme record here. But...have I called this record redundant yet? I just ask, because it is. Redundant. Scum stats: 500 copies.


RAZORCAKE: Review by Todd Taylor
HAUNTED GEORGE / HEX DISPENSERS
Forest Ray Colson's Pile O'Meat: 7" EP
(Hook Or Crook Records)
I like the concept. Two songs each. Both bands do the same songs: an original and a cover of the other band. Haunted George: Really? I can't figure out if the joke's on the listener or George. The first song's a reverby, in-a-pool recording of a one man band that, I'm guessing, is supposed to be coming across as a paranoid stomp through a destroyed wasteland via a serial killer, but it comes across more as ooky-spooky camp that'd be playing in the background of a Munsters episode. Hex Dispensers: That's more like it. Their version turns George's "Pile O' Meat" into an Undertones Vs. Marked Men powerpop raver that makes the song sound like a Winston Smith collage come to life: cocained-up, teeth-baring consumers thinly butchering the things that are truly ingesting them. Totally worth it for the Hex Dispensers side. I love danceable destruction.


CREATIVE LOAFING (ATLANTA): Review by Chad Radford
Hex Dispensers
Lose My Cool 7"
(Douchemaster Records)
Urgency is the driving force behind the angst-ridden guitar chug that carries "Lose My Cool" on the A-side of this single from Austin, Texas, power-punk outfit the Hex Dispensers. The song strongly evokes Jay Reatard's approach to working out demons and self-loathing via psychotic rage channeled through distorted new-wave melodies.
"Taxidermy Porno" on the B-side blows out irresistible angularity and controlled power, but keeps the song reined in with sharp hooks and great lyric writing that adds fuel to the fire. A flawless cover of the Wipers' 1980 jam "Tragedy" shows off a musical upbringing that places the group on the right track to power-punk greatness. The only problem is that three songs aren't nearly enough to satisfy anyone's appetite for what the Hex Dispensers have to offer. 5 stars