Allo luvs
Another day, another train, and another gig – and Sunday night it
was lovely Manchester. Ooh, I quite like Manchester. Ever since I took
my best mate and his wife up there last year to see Elbow play at the
Apollo. One of the best music gigs I’ve ever seen.
Music seemed to be a big part of last night’s show, in what
eventually became an on-stage ensemble piece - but I’ll get to that in
a minute. Firstly, the cast.
Sitting in the front row was a rather large man called Mike,
surrounded by three ladies. He seemed remarkably assured for a
front-row-audience-member, and I soon found out why. He was a security
guard for the theatre and the ladies with him worked there as well.
Good to see they saved the best seats for themselves huh? When I bent
down to harass Mike about whether he wished he was in a relationship
with any of the ladies, he brushed me off with a flick of his hand, and
a beautifully Northern-accented “Fook off”.
Next up was a 12 year old by the name of Jacob, who was the coolest,
most relaxed, and mature 12 year old I’ve ever met. There was also a 55
year old Scottish man called Derek who seemed to just stare me down.
When I suggested that if two people stare into each others eyes for
long enough, they’ll either fight or shag, Derek replied “You choose
which one it is”
Finally I found a 53 year old man called Ian who told me he gets
into old-man rants about his daughter Kirsty – who just happened to be
sitting next to him. When she later professed to not knowing who The
Doors were, he said – “Now you know why I get shitty with her.” I then
created a Jerry Springer style confrontation on stage, in which Ian
confronted Kirsty about her musical taste, while Mike watched on as the
bouncer.
It looked a bit like this:
Kirsty said she was sick of being nagged about it, so I offered to
make her a mix-CD from the audience suggestions. I took a whole raft
of suggested artists from the crowd (and prompted Jacob to call out
“What about Mika?” which was of course booed) including The Beatles,
the Doors, AC/DC and Bob Marley, naturally topped off with something
from Elbow, and promised to create a good music mix-CD for her. I’ll
post it here when I have it done, and will then send the CD to Kirsty.
Although we resolved the tension between Kirsty and her Dad, I took
a moment to profess my love for Mike, then carried him offstage in my
arms, as the theme from The Bodyguard played. Hmmm, I seem to be making
a habit of that one.
It looked a bit like this:
As I stood there, straining to hold Mike aloft while trying not to
look like I was straining, Mike said in my ear “Are you OK?” I assured
him that I was, but I think I strained something. Later, while signing
shirts in the foyer I attempted to lift Mike again for a photo, and I’m
embarrassed to tell you that as my legs locked, my back stretched, and
my thighs pushed – I broke wind.
On that note, I’ll let you know that my next gigs are in Derry, Belfast and Norwich, and I hope to see you there.
For now though, here’s my playlist for Kirsty, and before you
protest at any of them, remember the audience chose the bands, I am
only choosing the songs.:
The Doors – Light My Fire
Stone Roses – Fools Gold
Black Sorrows – Harley and Rose
AC/DC – Back in Black
Muse – Knights of Cydonia
Echo and The Bunnymen – The Cutter
Oasis – Don't Look Back In Anger
The Smiths – This Charming Man
Bruce Springsteen – Born To Run
Kasabian – Fire
Cliff Richard – Young Ones (I think this was suggested ironically but hey, I like it)
Queen – Don’t Stop Me Now
Beatles – Yesterday
Jimi Hendrix – Foxy Lady
Joy Division – Love Will Tear Us Apart Again
Bon Jovi – Livin On A Prayer
ELO – Mr Blue Sky
Guns n Roses – Welcome To The Jungle
Frank Zappa – You Are What You Is
Nirvana – About A Girl
Elbow – Grace Under Pressure
Why not download them yourselves (legally of course) and make your own "Now That's What We Call Music for Kirsty" CD?
See you soon
Adam