IM SELFISH
Im depressed
I wallow in my own self pity
I eat from sadness , then find "ways" to not get fat.
I detach myself emotionally from anyone or thing.

I cant sit still.
Everything I do has a lack of motivation

Im never consistant
and I DONT KNOW WHAT I WANT



Im lost. Im confused.
Im sad. Im Lonely.
I want to find the joy that everyone else see's but all i see is thi sugly girl staring at me in my relfection.

this person that hates themself so much.. I cant bare the thought of happiness.

true happiness.

whenever i do find someone i want.. they never seem to stay.. and the ones i dont care for never go away.

I dont want to be blunt or a bitch and say its not happening . but i think thats what its coming down to.


I just wish. i didnt have to sacrifice my morals for love. or the thought of love.



i dont want to "give myself up" to anyone anymore..

not unless their worth it.

im sick of breaking my own heart.

the ones that have had me are enough.

I want something real.

problem is
nobodys real.