(Author's Disclaimer: All characters depicted are fictional and not related to any real events...or are they?)

How do you know you are a single woman in your 30's?
Contributed by a single woman who was doing her laundry on a Friday night

It's easy, do you contemplate shaving your legs or wearing a thong?  Those chores simply become a clue that you are considering having sex or you purposely don't do them to stop you from jumping the guy you shouldn't sleep with. Never works.

You end up like Bridget Jones or a Sex in the City episode by either rushing into the bathroom to "slip into something more comfortable (aka quick shave, change underwear)" or use the excuse to your spontaneous sex partner that you had no intentions in having sex therefore you don't have a maintained bikini line. Kind of makes it seem like you're not, as mom would say, a "floozy".

Hey in some occasions, I have gone as far as running into the restroom to remove my granny panties, just to seem a bit sexier when the time came for him to go up my skirt since I knew I was going to let him anyways.  Being thirty, is not like when you're twenty and wonder if the guy likes you and jump to his beckon call for attention. At our age, we find that we have a choice and sometimes it just comes down to, "Do I like him enough?" and "How long has it been?"

Additionally, you can go months without having sex but can't fathom the idea of deserting ice cream or chocolate for a week.  At other moments, you wonder why you even wait for the right guy to satisfy your sexual peak and kill your craving for a wet, sweaty night in bed with a tall, dark and handsome distraction! So you take what you can get, regardless if he's 23 or not as good looking as you like them.

Meanwhile, you spend your "regular" days at work and family encounters responding to dreading statements such as, "So is there a special man in your life, YET?" or "You know if you want to have kids, you should hurry up and get married."  Mom has even said, "You know you're in your 30's now, so if you get pregnant without being married, it's ok."

So are you a single woman in your 30's? If you are not sure, check your panties and ask yourself, "Would I rather have a naked guy in bed with me tonight or some decadent chocolate?"  And if you are debating whether you really want to have lustful sex or just spend some extra time at the gym to make up for the indulgence, then you must be thirty-something. Because there's no doubt that I am...