My first husband, Lynn Igou, passed away last night. His mom called me to let me know. I stayed In touch with Lynn through the years and with his mom too. Lynn and I were married eight years. I was 21..he was 23.  A silly marriage, but we were young and felt like maybe it would be kind of  a
"far out", interesting thing to do (such a mature approach, eh?) I knew there would be problems from the get go, but I had a way of putting blinders on when it came to romantic dealings. So of course the problems got huge and we ended it.  We stayed friends however. I even remember we went out for a drink after the final divorce signing at the court house. We werent overjoyed or anything, just sort of a "well, that was a trip, huh?"  way of feeling as we parted that day.
 I've ONLY now seen that pattern of mine of putting on blinders. Took me long enough. My second marriage ended after 23 years last year.

I just wasn't very smart in acknowleging my gut,  and red flags. I'm not at all implying these men were flawed, I was not..  when I say I ignored red flags. I mean there were obvious markers these relationships would not be a good fit for me. However, one can only know a good fit if one knows oneself or at least pays attention to what one's gut is saying!  

So that's the journey I've been on this past couple of years. "Getting To Know You" (what Musical is that from?)  is my new theme song as I look in mirror these days.

As sad,  or bittersweet, as it is that these relationships didn't last, I also now know that each relationship I've had (there was one three year relationship in between the two marriages)  has added a wealth of information to my self learning. Those men too, learned/are learning a great deal, about themselves as well. The second marriage also produced two incredible sons, Matt and Mike. I can't imagine life without them! So, there is a reason for everything and no coincidences. 

I was meant to go down those roads. It's opened up a world of information to me .. my own journey.