Time to vent...

As I was saying, I'm playing this gig earlier tonight, ok?  I was hired to play 2 hours solo guitar.  They asked that I play mostly jazz and blues and maybe a little 'flamingo' sounding music.  I can only guess they meant flamenco or spanish classical stuff.  I start out with Bag's Groove by Milt Jackson and pretty much stay with swing and blues for the whole set execpt for three non-jazz pieces.  I get through my first set with no scrapes, took my break and went back to it.  I start with Black Orpheus, move to Autumn Leaves and was at the tail end of Ellington's 'Don't Get Around Much Anymore' when I get tapped on the shoulder.  I look up and the person asks me if I wouldn't mind playing more jazzy sounding stuff. 

After the initial shock of the request, I say sure and apologize for not playing jazzier.  The rest of the gig I'm playing and thinking, How did I screw up so many standards that people don't think they sound like jazz?  Then I had to remind myself that I have played in a big band and in many small jazz ensembles to some modest acclaim.  I even wrote a latin big band piece that was well recieved at the time.  Jazz is the largest portion of my music collection (mostly because the art of improvisation is such a wonderful skill and more musicians should do it).  I have even had seasoned jazz veterans come up to me after gigs and say how they appreciate my solo renditions of standards. 

All that and to have someone come up and ask me to play more 'jazzy'.

It kind of floored me and so when I got home I watched Amelie and Corpse Bride while I drank some Guiness, finished a half pint of Ben Jerry's, and baked some chocolate chip cookies after some pizza and a sandwich.  Yeah, I was pretty much trying to heal with food.  Actually the food and movies were accompanied by a lot of self pity and only in writting this was I able to console myself and put the problem with the other person and not myself. 

Being a sensitive musician has it's downpoints at times.