How are we to find our way if were not allowed to walk on our own? See the light if everyone is showing us the way? We all need to live, love, laugh and all the other L words that make up a fulfilling existence with observance rather than direction. Everyone needs to find their own way through this thing called life. All the uninitiated masses should have the opportunity to make the same mistakes that were all meant to make - love the wrong person, work at the crappy job for far too long, loan money to a friend because these experiences help make us the unique and interesting individuals well eventually become.
It took me a long time to learn this. I used to think I could, no make that should, tell people what I thought they needed to do. That great deal not such a great deal -- that thing you really want you dont want that -- that love of your life let me tell you what I know about him/her. Now I might have been right more than not but I wasnt doing anyone any favors. I wasnt just denying them a bad choice and alienating a friend; I was denying them the chance to learn from that choice and myself the chance to see how bad I must have looked when I made that same decision.
Hey we always want to help/give someone the benefit of our experience. If you think you need to do something, protect a friend from themselves, or offer up your opinion on someone elses life choice, theres only one time to do it; when asked. And even then you have to act with tact and diplomacy. And just as a warning; starting your suggestion with an Are you crazy or When I was a kid is a waste of your time and theirs. An opinion should never be an order.
And heres the biggie - when a decision involves love or money unsolicited advice will only lose you a friend. And if youre asked your opinion dont expect to be listened to. Just give it in hope. Your advice your opinion in these matters, when not verbally requested can put you in a very unenviable position. And dont fall for the, I dont know what to do followed by the long pause. Thats just a trap. Say nothing. Let the pause hang there and fire back with the concerned look. It will save you every time.
When it does blow up or hey, if it all works out - yeah right - always be humble and understanding. Be gracious, be smug to yourself, but always be a friend. Never drop the I told you so. Never say, Yeah, well I knew it wouldnt last. Never be the know-it-all because you dont know-it-all. None of us do. Were all just going through this gig with our hands out-stretched flailing to find our way and just hoping it all works out for the best.
Theres a Korean proverb that goes, Power lasts ten years; influence not more than a hundred, which I personally read as, you can make someone do what you want for only so long or you can allow them to do what is right and they will continue to do it. How you choose to take the quote, my ramblings, and what you get out of it all are really up to you. Hey... Ive just told you want I think you should do. Now disregard all of it and go out and live your life the way you want. Ahn-nyung.