nostalgie de la boue? I think not.. but the days have taken their toll on me.. monotonous activities murder every fiber of creativity in me.. even inebriants have lost their meaning.. crushed like biscuit crumbs.. the joy and pleasure I took in good company, the laughter and jokes have all swiftly faded away.. we drink to drown the inevitability of time.. we have nothing better to do but get highly low.. hey, hey, hey, hey.. you are a fool.. for stickin round..

fighting a schizo psychotic nature.. and they dont make it any better.. chatter and clatter behind your back.. they deserve every bit of what they get and so do I and so do you.. yes, you.. contradiction? fuck yeh, and Ill smile about it.. so light up and let your senses flow.. let loose, live lite, provoke and prod, laugh till you cry, cry till you laugh.. make a couple of goals for yourself.. knowing youll never follow or achieve any of em, cause youre just too damned short sighted and lazily fecked up.. buy a ticket and get on a train...

I wish one of these trance songsd take me away.. get me high, knock me out, drop me from the sky.. sink to the molten core.. back to the mundane grayness we call life.. have I made a terrible mistake? I couldnt have.. Im happier that Ive ever been, yet I feel a terrible inadequacy in my life, a faceless void (heh), just dying to be filled.. could it just be me? Could it just be tonight?

Acid trance.. if I could I would.. do all the things I want to do and more.. but I think Ill forego the days and the nights, but instead reside to my bed, purplish gray covers, quilt over head, black swan in the background, coffee rings decorating my floor, and the gray haze of chill depression..

Repeated sounds soothe me.. i've got your voice repeated endlessly.. I need change, I hate ranting, yet I love it.. i wish I had an eraser to erase whatever I wanted to erase.. hah wtf? Am I losing it.. Im flapping round frantically but im still.. placid as fuck.