I'll swear until my face is blue

That I don't need you

But the truth is that I do.

I dreamt about you last night.

Why are you doing this to me? Torturing my unconscious though I make choices

to forget your touch and the sound of your voice.

Your mouth.

And now

   I have a sticky layer of you clinging on my skin

and I can't seem

   to scrub it clean

               or rub it in.

My heart is pounding with the transgressions of dreams that make my heart steam and boil over sizzling liquids onto all of my insides and all the parts that make me ME.

I'm using all the strength that I have, pushing you out

But you've spent years poisoning

              and it's far too late for any vaccine

And I'll swear until my face is blue

That I don't need you

But the truth is that I do.

I harbor the cravings and don't allow myself the sinful pleasure in scratching the itch

But the measure to which you own me today…

If only you knew of my incriminating withdrawal twitch

            begging for a little taste

now I'm afraid to sleep for fear of your strong face,

it chases me from dream to dream

place to place

and oh, what I'd give, to finally just escape

And I'll swear until my face is blue

That I don't need you

But the truth is that I do.