Welcome to the New Year Hashers! Some of you made it to the run last night, the rest of you are lame-o losers. Butt Hook was the first Hare of 2007 leading us through the streets of old Westchester and the Killer Kern River.
The run got started from the Racquetball parking lot next to Beach Park. As is usual, the Hashers were late to arrive. Once the Hare returned from laying trail and enough Happy New Years had been given, the pack was off to find the magnificent Pabst Blue Ribbon contained within the trunk of Butt Hook's ride. 11 Hashers began the run that was to have 1 beer check and be a "short" three miles.
After a short tour of the residential area East of Beach Park, the hashers were lead to the Not So Mighty Kern River but were given an out to walking through the water with a narrow uneven cement "bridge". Passing through Hobotown, the Hashers were on trail to get some PBR that was more than well deserved. The Hounds were soon rewarded by stopping in the old Costco parking lot and consumption of that Sweet Ambrosia, Pabst Blue Ribbon.
Once the Harriettes decided that they were cold enough from standing around and drinking ice cold barley pop, the pack was back at it running out toward Buck Owens Boulevard. The Hare played a nasty trick by laying trail next to, but not into, Teasers Pleasers. What a bloody wank. The trail turned along Hwy 99 where Bloodery Nipples amazed all with his prowess of hopping fences when there is an obvious lack of fence 15 feet away. After passing through a fence "vagina" and crossing Rosedale, the Hashers were lead once again across the Krazy Kern River but this time we were not so lucky in the keeping our feet dry department.
The Kern River is not flowing as mightily as in the spring so the crossings were not too hazardous. Two hashers did succumb to the ice cold watery depths of the Kern. Bloodery and No Hair Where did not follow the proper flour dots to the crossing of inches deep water and instead took a step into a nut sack deep hole. With that behind, Tri Tit (nee Hasher Natalie) found trail off toward Truxtun and onward to the Down-Downs.
The circle was eventful with a returning Hasher, the naming of a Hasher, a virgin Hasher, and the bestowing of Hashing New Year's Resolutions. Marilyn Man-ho regaled all with her tales of just not coming to the runs. Hasher Natalie was renamed Tri Tit in honor of her skin flashing exploit at her virgin run. Bloodery Nipples was able to make Hasher Nilay come to her inaugural run. She made all laugh with her joke:
"What do you call a policewoman who just shaved her pussy?"
"A Cunt-stable"
Butt Hook had a creative hair up his butt and created a game where all the Hashers in attendance where given a Hasing New Year's Resolution. Some of the more colorful were Cummander's to "Go down at least once on each bearer of the Hashit during 2007" and Hasher Nilay's to "Have sex at least once with the Hashit on each time she receives it during 2007."
With the Down-downs completed and the Harriettes complaining of it being cold, the Hashers made their way down the street to the old hideaway, Pizzaville USA. There, the Hashers were satiated with pizza, chicken, and plenty of beer. All were also captivated by Boise State's spectacular win over Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl.
Next week, we will be lead by Pecker Wrecker so call MED-FLYS for updates on her run. Good luck to all and remember:
"Take 'er easy, and if she's easy, Take 'er twice."
On ON