Hello Bako Hash House Harrier Blog readers.  Thanks for not having a real life interacting with others and for reading this amazing blog.  Today, I will regale you all with the tale of Pecker Wrecker's Hard Luck Run.

The run began in the old Montgomery World Plaza parking lot.  What an amazing site, what with the giant recycling bins nearby and the travelers who recently lost a loved one.  Pecker Wrecker decided to lay a live trail with the help of her beau, Hasher Sam.  With the hares off, the Hashers stood around wanting some cheap crappy beer which was locked away within Hasher Sam's truck, what a cold hearted Hare.  While waiting to give chase, the Hashers were solicited to donate money towards the purchase price of a ticket to Mexico for a man who recently lost his mother to the cold hands of death.  With much ballyhoo, the traveler offered to sell a $50 gift certificate to Toys R Us.  Unfortunately, the downtrodden traveler did not know that the Bako Hashers are cold-hearted assholes.

The Hashers were then off to find the Hares and the glorious Pabst Blue Ribbon.  The check happy Hares laid a trail through industrial areas and angry dog friendly neighborhoods.  The only misstep was by Bloodery Nipples who showed off his flour finding abilities by running over three giant lines without seeing them.  The real Hashers ignored Bloodery's attempts at leading them astray and soon found the first Beer Check in a deserted lot.

After the delectable PBR had been drank, the Hashers gave chase to the Hares.  The second segment of the run led the Hounds through downtown Bakersfield.  With a turtle check in front of Cinema 19, the Hashers amused all with tales of the movies inside.  Our very own Bruce Jenner (aka Cummander Cockoff) was the final runner to the check and had to find true trail.

Which is which?

The trail found it's way to the Alley Cat where the Hounds were rewarded with cheap beer and Kick Ass Classic Rock.

With that, the Hares completed their nearly perfect square jerk with a Northerly final leg to the start of the run for a rousing round of Down Downs.  The crimes were plenty and the beer was cold.  The highlight of the circle was the sunflower oil baked barbeque chips.  With the Down Downs completed, the Hashers decided to reconvene for the On After at Kosmos to watch the Ohio State Buckeyes complete their undefeated season with a convincing win over Florida. 

Uh-oh, That's right, the BCS sucks major Donkey Dong.  How can an undefeated team rank behind a team with two losses (to unranked teams)?  Because too many people have a major hard-on for USC.  Losers.  Sorry for the football rant, I just believe that we would all benefit from a playoff system for 1-A football.  Anyways,

On On Wankers