My first Apple Classic 80GB failed on me within a day, so I sent it back to Amazon and got a refund. A second one, bought from a local store just in case, made it to a week. It went back too.

Number three lasted three months or so. Total hard disk failure this time. Just a wee red x in a circle on the screen and no response to anything. A quick look at the Apple web site confirmed that it was dead and recommended that I take it to the nearest Apple shop for a replacement.

So this morning I headed into the City Centre and the Glasgow Apple Shop. It looks pretty good like most Apple shops, but that's where the positive experience ended.

I approached one of the seven or so staff who were doing nothing and explained to him that I needed to exchange a faulty product. He took me to an oversized Mac in the corner and entered my details, suggesting that he could give me an appointment in two hours!

Two freaking hours??

I explained that the iPod was dead according to their web site and that I just needed to exchange it. Not his job apparently. He explained that only a Genius could do an exchange – really! I'm not making this shit up.

I asked to speak to a supervisor, who turned out to be just a senior jobsworth. That's the system, sir. No, none of the staff here can put an exchange through. Only those on the Genius Bar. Maybe the Apple web site got it wrong. That sort of nonsense.

So, I said to Mister Supervisor. If I want to give you money any one of six staff doing nothing will take it, but if I want to replace a faulty product, exercising my statutory rights, I need to wait two hours? Exactly, he replied.

Resisting the temptation to tell him where to stick the piece of shit iPod, I made an appointment for two hours later. Customer service: don't think so, buddy!

I returned later, excited that I was going to meet a real live Apple Genius! Can you detect the sarcasm?? Maybe that's because my IQ is 160+, which is about twice that of the sixteen year old boy masquerading as a genius who eventually deigned to deal with my complaint.

He glanced at the screen and agreed with me that it was dead and should be replaced. I waited two hours for this?? Five minutes later I left with iPod number four.

Wonder how long this one will last??

So Apple may have a cool image and all, but my experience of the company right now is incredibly negative. Products that fail repeatedly and really poor customer service will not have me sending any more of my cash in their direction.

Style over substance – a metaphor for modern day life really.