I just woke up. It usually takes me about a half an hour before I start to feel normal from the rest. It's like my neurons take their time firing up. They wait for the coffee. Alex was beside me watching cartoons when I woke up. I woke up wanting to cut his hair so I did. And today, I think, Michael will be home. Court went well yesterday and the judge is giving him back to me. Thank God, right?
It didn't take long for my brain to start shooting back memories either. Recent words, recent discoveries...constantly taking in the information being doled out to me too slowly. Maybe I had a bad dream last night-or maybe it was a good one at the time-but I dreamt I was a terrorist in charge of a camp and I was committing psychological warfare with my guests. I'd walk by one of them and reach out to pull their hair. I'd lean down to another and kiss them on the lips and smile; tell them everything was alright. Then just as their eyes registered hope, I'd smack them across the face and smile again. How messed up is that? The problem is, I enjoyed it. In my dream.
Why would someone want to terrorize another? Why would someone want to make another's nightmares comes true? Or to convince them of love when all they really have to offer is malice? Or want to see you cry? Why did I want that in my dream?
So I looked up terrorism to see if that's the word I'm looking for.
Terrorism is, most simply, policy intended to intimidate or cause terror.[1] It is more commonly understood as an act which (1) is intended to create fear (terror), (2) is perpetrated for an ideological goal (as opposed to a materialistic goal or a lone attack), and (3) deliberately targets (or disregards the safety of) non-combatants. Some definitions also include acts of unlawful violence or unconventional warfare, but at present, there is no internationally agreed upon definition of terrorism.[2][3]
A person who practices terrorism is a terrorist.
A terrorist. How successful is the terrorist, I wonder? Does he always stalk you or does he sometimes come about randomly? Does he truly have a heart? A breaking point at which he says, 'My victim is innocent. I can't hurt him'.? Or is it the innocence of the victim that gives him the strength he needs to terrorize more? And what if the terrorist finds the victim who doesn't give the reaction he's looking for? Or he isn't satisfied by old reactions and so must come up with newer and scarier ones?
How often does the victim decide that giving in is the safest play? Is it rare?
Stockholm syndrome is a psychological response sometimes seen in abducted hostages, in which the hostage shows signs of loyalty to the hostage-taker, regardless of the danger or risk in which they have been placed. The syndrome is named after the Norrmalmstorg robbery of Kreditbanken at Norrmalmstorg in Stockholm, in which the bank robbers held bank employees hostage from August 23 to August 28 in 1973. In this case, the victims became emotionally attached to their victimizers, and even defended their captors after they were freed from their six-day ordeal. The term "Stockholm Syndrome" was coined by the criminologist and psychiatrist Nils Bejerot, who assisted the police during the robbery, and referred to the syndrome in a news broadcast.[1]
At the end of my dream, I was slapped. I don't know who did it or where it came from. It wasn't even a part of that dream, in fact. But it was a sharp slap and I remember thinking in my sleep 'who did that??' No matter which way I turned though, they were behind me. Hey-that's a good story idea. Dreams come in handy.
I wonder if there's ever been a situation where the victim fell in love with her terrorist and they got married and had babies and lived happily ever after? Reminds me of the first love story I ever saw as a child; Luke raping Laura on the dance floor and her eventually, falling in love with him (General Hospital). That was honestly my introduction into the adult life; what it meant to fall in love, and how one got there. Oh, silly childhood of mine. Still screwing around with me.