My ace boon, Zlr suggested I make a sports blog and since he's the second smartest nigga on Urf (behind Batman/Dr. Venture, depending on who you ask) I agreed. I am a sports fan but I don't fuck with too many sports outside of football and basketball. Baseball is just boring to me, even the fans (all 300 of them) in the stands fall asleep at the games.

So for my first O-fficial sports blog, I'll just rap with you about the NFL (trust me, I'll talk about ECU soon). Week one is in the books and there were a few upsets that I woulda never called (word to the Chicago Bears) so I'll have to start with week two. Before I get into the matchups lemme just throw my .02 in about some of the headlines of the NFL.

Vince Young takes a walk:
Vince, fam, I get it. You were THAT nigga at Texas and you were THAT nigga in high school but this is the next level homey. Suck that shit up and do what you do. You're in your third year and there's a learning curve that you gotta get through. Odds are you're not going to beast out like you did in college in your first few years. Vince has said that his love for the game hasn't faltered and the media have blown this shit outta proportion (imagine that!!) and I believe him. However we have to realize that even though these dudes are making millions of dollars by entertaining us with their athleticism, they're people too. The nigga was fucked up over spraining his MCL after throwing 2 picks last week and Mom dukes spazzed cause he went out for a walk and didn't bring his cell. I think Vince is going to be alright, he just needs some more guys to throw to.

Jessica Simpson trash talking:
"If you so bad, put a jersey on!" (c) Warren Sapp.

Aigh, here's my breakdown of week two. As Mallz sees it.

Chicago @ Carolina: Chicago is coming off a big upset win over Indy and the Panthers are coming off a great game against the Chargers. I got both of those games wrong last week. I like the Panthers (even tho as a die hard 49ers fan I really shouldn't) and they played one hell of a game without their best offensive weapon. I expect more of the same, Mushin Muhammad (who apparently refuses to play for any other team than these two) is still a very solid receiver and Dante Rosario had a great game last week. Chicago's rookie running back Matt Forte looked very good against the Colts but I expect him to be held under 100 yards against this veteran Panthers D. I do not and will not believe in Kyle Orton nor do I believe in Devin Hester as a number one receiver. Both teams have great defenses but I think the Bears just don't have the offensive firepower to make it to 2-0.
Panthers win.

Tennessee @ Cincinnatti: Vince Young won't be playing because of a sprained MCL but Kerry Collins is a decent game manager who can NOT-LOSE a game for you. Tennessee has a great thunder and lightening duo in the backfield with Lendale White and former Pirate Chris Johnson while the Bengals' Chris Perry doesn't seem to be the same caliber as a feature back as Rudi Johnson was. I've always liked the Titans defense, more specifically, their front seven but I can't see the Bengals going 0-2 to start the year off.
Mr. Ocho Cinco will redeem himself against Courtland Finnegan.
Bengals win

Green Bay @ Detroit
Hmmm...Packers and Lions....
Packers win.

Buffalo @ Jacksonville
ECU all up in this muh fucka. The Bills are one of those interesting teams who, on paper, they have solid players but for some reason it never translates on the field (word to the Washington Redskins). I love Marshawn Lynch and that running attack but J.P. Losman needs to curtail the interceptions if they want to have a chance against a scary good Jaguars team that took an unexpected L last week. Look for Jerry Porter to make his debut for Jacksonville and DG will redeem himself for having nearly more interceptions thrown last week than all of last year. Jacksonville's front seven will make it difficult for Lynch to get his yards. John Henderson is a monster at DT. Buffalo anted up their D-line by adding former Jaguar Marcus Stroud who'll be plugging up holes but the Taylor/Jones-Drew running attack will wear them down.
Jaguars pull out the dub.

Oakland @ Kansas City
Who cares? Nah, I kid (kinda). Both teams are seemingly in a perpetual state of rebuilding. Oakland does have something to be excited about with Darren Mcfadden in the backfield with Justin Fargas and the Raiders also seem to have one of the best defensive secondaries in the league...it appears that way at least. Deangelo Hall is doing all he can to prove that he is NOT a shut-down corner but he'll be fine against second year man, Dwayne Bowe. Zilla asked how I felt about Larry Johnson and I honestly think he's pretty much done. He's had to take too many carries over his career to be the same back he was 3 years ago.
I'm gonna flip a coin and pick the Raiders to win

Indianapolis @ Minnesota
...do I really need to break this down?
Colts win.

New York @ St. Louis
Ahhh the clusterfuck that is the NFC West. The Rams have a pretty decent team and I see nothing but good things for Stephen Jackson. The Giants' defensive line is in shambles so I think the Rams will have a great day on the ground, however I do believe they'll still have an excellent pass rush. Marc Bulger did not look like a former Pro Bowler last week against the Eagles. The Giants may have the deepest runningback core in the NFL with Jacobs, Ward, Bradshaw and Droughns. Look for Brandon Jacobs to demolish someone.
Giants win.

New Orleans @ Washington
Battle of the underacheivers. With Colston out the Saints are going to have to rely more heavily on Jeremy Shockey and Reggie Bush in the passing game. While the Skins are gonna have to pull Jim Zorn to the side and tell him to get his shit together and call some good plays. I still think Jason Campbell will be a fine QB in this league, especially with Antwan Randle El and Santana Moss. Clinton Portis will get his yards and there's little anyone can do about that. I'm not sure if Jason Taylor has the go or not due to a knee injury but I think he will be a big factor in this game one way or another.
This one is a toss up but I'm going with the Redskins at home for the win.

San Francisco @ Seattle
I will call this one right down the middle. I do not believe in J.T. O'Sullivan. Sure he completed 70 percent of his passes last week against the Cards but he also threw picks and fumbled the ball. The Seahawks love to blitz and with Julian Peterson and one of the two best middlelinebackers (guess who I think the other one is) in the league, Lofa Tatupu, the 9ers will need to get the ball out quickly if they want a shot at winning this one. I love the 9ers D. On paper they look great: Justin Smith, Nate Clements, Michael Lewis, Takeo Spikes and the other best middle linebacker in the league, Patrick Willis. Hopefully they can pressure Matt Hasselbeck into making some mistakes that we can capitalize off of. With Nate Burleson on the shelf for the season and Deion Branch and Bobby Engram out the Seahawks are going to have to win this on the ground and with their defense.
I gotta take my boys, 49ers win.

Atlanta @ Tampa Bay
Jeff Garcia basically lost his starting job and the Falcons have a highly heralded rookie quarterback. The Bucs' defense is still scary with Cato June and Derrick Brooks roaming the field. Warrick Dunn is a Buccaneer again and will do a solid job backing up Ernest Graham. Look for John Abraham to continue to wreak havoc on the QB with a less than mobile Brian Griese under center.
Buccaneers win.

Miami @ Arizona
...shit....Cardinals win lol.

San Diego @ Denver
Shawne Merriman made a good decision in having that season ending surgery. This will be a huge blow to that Charger defense but as long as LT, Phillip Rivers and Antonio Gates are healthy the Bolts will be fine. Don't sleep on the Broncos defense tho
Chargers win

New England @ New York
Rut roh, no Tom Brady. Let's see if Belichick is truly a genius. Sure you can have defensive backs playing line backer and wide receivers lining up at cornerback but the quarterback position is a whole different monkey. The Jets acquired Kris Jenkins who will look to make Matt Cassel as uncomfortable as possible with that rush up the gut and the Pats will have to rely more on Sammy Morris and Mr. Legalize it, Kevin Faulk. We love Brett Fav-ruh and it's hard to bet against him...
So I won't, Jets with the upset (kinda).

Pittsburgh @ Cleveland
Old ass Jamal Lewis can still rack up a buncha yards and if Donte Stallworth plays then that will make Derek Anderson's day a little better. Pittsburgh is one of the top 5 teams in the league and I think they will handle business against their arch rival
Steelers win

Philadelphia @ Dallas
With the acquisition of Asante Samuel, the Eagles have another one of the best looking secondaries in the NFL but their front seven will be punished by Marion Barber and Felix Jones. Donovan Mcnabb had an excellent game last week but look for Demarcus Ware to put some pressure on a slower Mcnabb from the outside. This will be a good game but if Jessica Simpson says they'll win then dammit, I say they'll win
Cowboys with the W.

Monday night: Baltimore @ Houston
The Texans stink.
Baltimore wins.



Welp, it's dumb late and a nigga has to get ready fo' massa at the plantation. Actually, it's not that late, my lame ass just can't hang like I used to.

Mallzini outtie 5000