'Curious'he mused, slowly shaking his quizzical fleece. This was Eric's favourite method of engaging me in a unilateral conversation, usually a contemptuous observation of human nature that would invariably end with "…and that's why you're a loser" or "…and hence I can never return to my beloved Bangkok". I reluctantly braced for his diatribe.
'So I happened to be eavesdropping down at the tavern. That bar-girl Karla was there and I'm pretty sure she's got the hots for yours truly. Everytime she serves me she goes all bug-eyed and…'
'Anyway…'
'Yeah, so I happened to witness an episode of human courtship and was most impressed by the complete disregard for the so-called intellect you people love to brag about. This tall dude was yabbering at some cute young thing who I'm pretty sure would have been chomping at the bit for some Eric action if she'd known I was there. You should have seen her she was a tidy little morsel and…'
'Anyway..!'
'Well, I surreptitiously interloped to hear him explaining his self-diagnosed ability to think:
"…you know, I'm just always thinking. At night…before I fall asleep…I just lay there and think…"
She gave an enthralled and attentive nod.
"…and I think about all types of stuff…I'm just thinking all the time..."
A comprehending "yeah" on her behalf.
"I guess that means I'm real thoughtful hey…ha ha… And get this…sometimes I'm thinking so hard I forget what I was even thinking about and other times…I find myself thinking when I didn't even realise I was doing it. Do you know what I mean?"
"I think so"
"Wait a second………………………I was doing it right then!"
'Oh brother,' Eric cried dramatically, flopping backwards with his hand to his forehead, 'You people wouldn't know a thought if someone smashed a lightbulb over your fat heads. I'm sorry, I shouldn't really take it out on you. I mean you've probably never even spoken to a girl…you know… due to you being such an ugly loser.'
'I'm going to get some beer.'