"He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord." (Proverbs 18:22) "
HE that finds, not SHE that finds!" Sound familiar? There's nothing wrong with that kind of emphasis to help encourage the man desiring marriage to be more proactive, but we need a broader perspective for the true 'find.'
The word 'find' as presented in this verse means more than just to obtain something after searching for it. It does mean that, but it is not limited to that. This word 'find' means:
to find, secure, acquire a thing after searching for it; to meet, encounter; to learn, devise; to find out; to detect; to come upon, light upon, discover; to happen upon, meet, fall in with; to hit. It means:
to cause to find, attain; to cause to light upon, come upon, come; to cause to encounter; to present. It also means:
to appear, be recognized; to be discovered, be detected; to be gained; to be found; to be found in (a place), happen to be; to be present; to prove to be; to be found sufficient, be enough.
This tells us that the finding of a wife is not limited only to a man
looking for a wife. It also tells us that being found is not limited to only passively waiting with your best dress on and a hopeful look on your face. A wife may be someone that a man can learn of through some other means or person. Sometimes what you're searching for is so close it's overlooked. Brothers, there may be someone who has been there all along who you may not have
detected as a wife because you did not look for (or know) the conditions or characteristics in her that would reveal her as a wife. A man can happen upon or discover a wife along the way as he goes about fulfilling his purpose
without actively looking for her.
God did not limit the finding of a wife only to the man looking. He also includes the possibility of a "cause" agent that could be used to bring the two together. That agent could be a person, a circumstance, an event, or even a resource. An introduction, for example, is not corny or a sign of some desperate bachelor or bachelorette who has to be introduced because he/she is too pitiful to get someone's attention on his/her own. Actually, an introduction or recommendation (by someone whose godly wisdom and discernment are reliable) is one of the best ways to meet someone. Ask Ruth.
Single ladies, God did not forget you in this process: you have a part in this also. It is you who is
to be recognized,
discovered,
detected,
found,
proven to be,
found sufficient. Does that mean you need to be showy, or pushy, or aggressive, or desperate? Of course not… just be your best! Be introducible. Be prepared. Be recognizable. Be detectable. Be confident.
Be findable! Be so attractive—both inside and out—that only a fool (who you wouldn't want anyway) wouldn't recognize you as a treasure. And speaking of treasure, a shiny coin is so much easier to spot than a dull one.
We can easily miss opportunities when we only expect things to happen in a certain way, in a certain place, at a certain time, or with a certain person.
Be flexible. Don't limit the location, the method, the presentation or the packaging.
Be open. Ask God to guide you and then keep your eyes, ears, and heart open. God loves creativity and variety and He is not limited to only doing things one way; you don't need to be limited either. How will you find or be found? Like everything with God: the possibilities are endless.
Aleathea Dupree is the author of
Though The Vision Tarry: Waiting For My Promised Mate and the Founder and Administrator for the
Deep Waters website and
forum. Copyright © 2008. All Rights Reserved. For permission to reprint, please contact:
administrator@deepwaters.info.