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I Listen to the CBC alot, and NPR when I'm able...So I get to hear Politicians speak, Now this is vastly different than reading what they say in the Papers...it's got a different Rhythm to it. American Politicians all sound pretty similar, other than the partisan and Geographical differences...cause they all stick so close to the Party line, Perhaps that's why Obama is shaking so many trees...he sounds different, Hopeful, Noble, and Positive.
Canada, ..well we get the B team as far as communication goes...they pretty much all sound exactly alike, and say as little as possible. We've become incarnate in a time of what I call "Reactionary Politics" ...dont actually come up with anything of your own...No fresh ideas, or opinions...remember when people Like Trudeau had OPINIONS? Now....if you have an opinion at all...you're "too Opinionated"! God forbid. Nope...what we have now, is a bunch of aimless talking heads...who sit and wait for a member of the Oppostion to stumble...and then Pounce! DEMAND AN APOLOGY! CALL A PUBLIC INQUIRY! HE SHOULD RESIGN! ...Usually this is because the offender went out on a limb, and either had an opinion...or he actually fucked up...by actually doing something.
Today in Canada...Politicians are pretty much like A&R guys at major labels (are there any left?) ...the old Joke goes...a bunch of label guys go see a band, and they love em'...A&R guy grabs a disc on the way out, next day at the office, Promo guy approaches the A&R guy and says "did you listen to their disc?" Guy says "yeah!" ....Promo guy says "what do you think of it?" A&R guy says "I dont know...I'm the only one that's heard it."
And therein lies the rub. Everyone is so scared to actually have an opinion now, they've developed this marvelously benign Politico-speak in order to say as little as possible...and yet suggest what they might say if they ever felt that they could in fact say...which they cant...it's like...Have ya Noticed Politicians in both our countries dont point, or talk with their hands anymore? they make like a girly-fist their thumbs folded across the top of the index finger..and gesture and point with it! John Kerry had it down to an art...But NOBODY talks that way! I guarantee you...some focus group somewhere decided that that was the least decisive gesture, the least offensive...again, Barak talks with his hands..I love that he never got the e-mail about that...But back to the language, Here are some of my pet Peeves from the Modern Canadian Political Language lexicon.
"Going forward" Formerly known as "From here on in" or "from now on" or "We seriously fucked up by doing absolutely nothing in the past...but now that we got caught doing nothing..it'll all be different....going forward!"
How did this Phrase sneak into there? it just turned up one day..and now it's Everywhere!
"Resources" ...Jeeze...this is a beauty, Nobody wants to get caught asking for Money, but resources? not a problem! and of course the people being asked...well, they dont wanna commit to actually giving you any money..But if ya say "resources" ...well, that could be anything! .." I never said I'd throw money at the Homeless...I said "resources" ....I was going to get them IT jobs in the private sector" or give them self-esteem lectures. Bring your own Syringe.
"At risk" ...This basically means Poor. Unless you're referring to children, then of course it means "armed".
"Child Poverty" An Absolutely Canadian Phenomenon..this of course springs forth from the all too prevalent mid-set that if you want ANY law passed, or ANY point agreed to...Put the world "Child" in front of it.....wanna chip away at my most basic civil liberties? say it's in the best interest of the children.. Let's be honest..isn't child Poverty just "poverty"? Poor people have kids too right? Dont get me wrong...Kids are great, But how...in one generation, they went from being "seen and not heard" to being our "Most precious resource" is beyond me...I swear I wanna have kids , Just so I can drive down the road smoking with them in the car....No seatbelts...and rolling up cigarettes using pieces of the Canadian Long gun registry..after all the right to bare arms Dammit! after which I suppose the Cops can Pull me over and Taser me to death....we gotta protect our kids right?
*Trivia* I just love to listen to OPP chief Julian Fantino talk...Possibly the crookedest , not to mention dumbest Cop in the Province's history...and they give him the Big chair.
In defense of Tasers ...and if you think there's no upside to Electrocuting unarmed Eastern Europeans.....think again! he stated that it was a better option than other options (see 9mm Glock) that could possibly result in the suspect's "Total demise" ...this of course as opposed to the all too common "partial death" we've all heard so much about.
"Working families" ...I love Jack Layton, he's got more integrity in his little finger than Most of his counterparts...But he gave birth to this baby, and he ain't letting it go. They all use it, but it seems pretty much the Intellectual property of the NDP...it sounds great in theory, but again , it's one of these terms given birth at some focus group looking to reap utmost Positive reaction, while offending virtually nobody...except maybe me.
What the hell is a "working family"? I thought child labour was outlawed years ago? if you have no kids...doo you not exist? does your vote not count? can I have my taxes back? (I dont want em' back...but still) it's a ridiculous term ..if only because the people using it, dont mean it..and they never did. I'm trying to picture My brother sending my 9 year old Niece Dana out to work in the Coke ovens at Dofasco....are they a working family if he dont?
Fidel Castro is retiring, and here's what I'll miss about him...he spoke, he said what he meant, and he NEVER had a speech writer on his staff, never weighed each word to for utmost positive, and least negative reaction...he didn't check to see if his fingers might be deemed too "Pointed" ...he just spoke. If there's a Heaven ....scratch that...If there's a place where Politicians go when they die...Eisenhower, Pierre Trudeau, Tommy Douglas, JFK, Churchill....they must be up there watching today's Politicians...especially In Canada (assuming they'd care) going "what'd he say?" to which Churchill would reply "I dunno Ike...but what's wrong with his Thumbs?"
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