Each day seem likes a struggle i constantly feel like im fighting something like i need to win and fuck knows why this is i dont have any pressure on my to sucseed or whatever i just feel like if i do this then some how i will be compliat i sware im having some sort of a nervious brake down why the fuck do i think doing all this shit will make me feel me better but all it does is cause more shit and it fucks me off and all im doing is screaming to myself i just wish the shit would stop and i could stop i mean im the one causeing the shit and im just being a cunt to myself i dont expect any one to pitty or understand me i brought this on myself i just wish i knew how to stop it