 |
Current mood:  scared Category: Life
I had a feeling things were headed in a bad direction last week when I didn't get any drafting work until Friday. The rest was all business development, graphical stuff for statements of qualifications we're sending out to a crap ton of companies trying to find work. And from what I'm understanding, we've actually won about a half million dollars worth of contracts, its just the funds holders are to scared to say "go."
So for you fellow believers I'll throw this one out there and you can take it for what its worth (which I personally think is a lot). Every now and again I have moments of real despair, of just I guess you would call utter lonelyness or confusion or just not understanding where my life is going or what the point of it is. And I've noticed lately that if I pray in these moments, like genuinely talk to God and not in that "how art thy father" way, just ask him to put me back on his path, point me in a direction or just bring us closer to him. And most of the time, if not all of the time I get an answer. The last time I did this after they did the last plow before I got home, and there was a four foot frozen berm blocking our driveway, and I was still waiting to take a test to see if I could survive removing such a thing without having a heart attack. (I've since had the test incidentally, and it turns out I have a perfectly healthy, strong heart... They want to test my testosterone levels though now, and I can see reasons why they'd be low. In other words, I'm all heart and no balls) Well anyway after I prayed I figured the berm was going to be just as frozen in the morning (and I was wrong... we required picks) and went to bed. In the morning I went out and the neighbors, who we never speak to, came out and helped (and brought the picks) me get the berm out of the way.
Yeah anyway Monday I get pulled in one of my bosses offices and they tell me they're moving me to part time, no more than 24 hours. Which freaked me the hell out. The silver lining is that they're keeping all my benefits in place... And after talking with the company president, who wanted to be completely transparent with me, said if only one project would break loose things would turn around. (I was not the first cut, they started with laying off some of what I would consider the less productive people, followed by moving the surveyors to part time, then us... next they have to actually let go engineers) But that day I was listening to two religious podcasts, Real Life Post Falls and Joel Osteen... two completely different sources and the topic was the same... money troubles, and they both referred to the story of Joseph. Which to those of you who aren't familar, was the son of Jacob (the father of the 12 tribes of Isreal) who was loved above all his brothers because he was born to Jacob in his old age. And one day his brothers conspired to kill Joseph, but instead sold him into slavery in Egypt. Anyway to make a long story short through a series of great and not so great ordeals Joseph ends up before Pharoah and is asked to interpret these two dreams. Joseph interprets them as meaning Egypt will go through seven years of plenty followed by seven years of famine. Pharoah is impressed by this and makes him his second in command, basically in charge of all of Egypt. Joseph collects 5 percent of the abundance during the seven years, which is so much he eventually just stops counting. And then the seven years of famine come, which are so bad it effects the entire world, and Joseph sells the stores of abundance until almost all of Egypt is owned by Pharoah and a number of other countries as well, its the countries riches point in its history. And in the second year of famine his brothers are sent to by grain from Joseph, and to make another long story short, thats how the Isrealites ended up settling in Egypt.
But I couldn't help but think that hearing that story twice in one day was beyond coincidence. Unless you're somehow walking around with no sense you know the whole country is going through the worst recession since the great depression. It's like America is just laying down and isn't working anymore. But I'm thinking second jobs, or trying to sell off something... And the second jobs I can't think of one I could take that wouldn't make my medical problems worse or wouldn't require going back to school. (which I still kind of want to do) And we don't really own anything worth selling. The only thing I can think of is to sell something of my own creativity. And there I have something.
I've all ready made a little money off my book. And thats in its third draft, self published with no advertising form. I have access to a great deal of information and resources that could either make that book profitable, or actually get it on the book stands.
So after talking it over with Lonna, we figured out we'd be trim but ok if I can just get my student loans in deferrement (which I'm struggling with at the moment). So basically I'm going to look at this as an opportunity and finally get that book, which has been neglected for like two years, off the ground.
All that said... Word has it one of our projects, the project that our company president says would bring back everyone in one fell swoop, is supposed to be confirmed sometime between the first week of February (next week) and mid February (the week after that?). So who knows.... We might just be fine.
It's just that there is so much fear and uneasiness in America right now and man, people need to let that go, because if we don't start moving again, what happens when we're all standing still?
Anyway... Expect to hear more on Dark Ascendance here shortly.
11:11 PM
Powered by  | | English | | Albanian | | Arabic | | Bulgarian | | Catalan | | Chinese | | Croatian | | Czech | | Danish | | Dutch | | Estonian | | Filipino | | Finnish | | French | | Galician | | German | | Greek | | Hebrew | | Hindi | | Hungarian | | Indonesian | | Italian | | Japanese | | Korean | | Latvian | | Lithuanian | | Maltese | | Norwegian | | Polish | | Portuguese | | Romanian | | Russian | | Serbian | | Slovak | | Slovenian | | Spanish | | Swedish | | Thai | | Turkish | | Ukrainian | | Vietnamese |
|