To the guys who broke my Dad's window and stole my laptop & cd's~

  I honestly can't believe it. Only a mere hour after i landed in AZ did you proceed to smash in my Pops' car window & heist my life out the passenger side, in broad daylight, in the middle of a busy shopping center. Not to mention only minutes before your apparent auto-raping did my Dad say, "Hey, should we put your stuff in the trunk before we eat?"..........'course we were both too hungry to think about the repercussions if i didn't. And so, i thank you. And here's why:

  1st of all, the bulk of my current musical existence is on that computer/on those cd's/in that notebook, so you should be able to get an idea of what that bag meant to me (if you comprehend life). Let's just say, i would give a finger to get it all back. However, i am so friggin' possessive about the music i love and how much i love it that i wrote down everything i ever created, ripped or was blessed enough to download (fugoff Lars Ulrich....without dj's playing your tunes you never would have that gold-plated shark tank). Which means, the music will recover. Secondly, my laptop & all of it's programs are registered. Which means, they'll recover. So you may have my shit. However, you will never possess the happiness i derived from such items (much less the creativity required to bring them to life). My laptop needs my fingerprint yo, and even if your crazy tech-know-how cousin CAN crack the code, you STILL won't be able to have as much fun as i did with it! To put the cherry on it, my cd's of the last year were in that bag, but they're all BEATS man!!!!! Lol! Your feeble little mind couldn't even comprehend how bedrock-shattering those tunes are, so you'll probably dispose of them. Which means my best kept secrets of the last year are gone.....but definitely NOT forgotten :-)

  Basically, i guess what i want to say is "thank you". Thanks for making me more readily available to my friends and family this holiday season (through lack of online involvement). Thank you for getting me a brand-spankin' new laptop for Christmas (through inclusion of online involvement---registry!!). And thanks for taking away from me what i thought was my main source of happiness. It only helped me to see what truly matters. Plus, a replacement laptop doesn't suck :-)

  I chuckle every time i think about you trying to play my music to a crowd with a combined I.Q. of 101.7......Sexy jungle grooves and dirty electro vibes don't make sense in your 2 dimensional world, do they?

  I take solace in the fact that your actions make me strive to be a better person than i was before. Heh. Healing through destruction...........keep breaking peoples windows bro. Your only making your bummer of a life that much shorter man! Hope it's worth it........

  Love, Jeffe :-)  :-)  :-)