I survived the weekend, but barely.  I have been struggling against insomnia since I was a kid, and it only seems to have gotten worse now that I am older.

I can go to sleep (sometimes) but I sleep in fight-or-flight mode.  I heard a noise at 3 am Sunday morning and woke up with my heart pounding out of my chest.

It has become painfully clear to me that I will never have a peaceful night's rest.  I wonder if I'll even have one after the kids are gone, that I'll be so conditioned to listening for bumps in the night that I won't be able to actually rest.

And since my doctor says, "Eat better and exercise" (which is a crock, btw; I was discussing it with a co-worker who not only bikes to school on sunny days and teaches 4 classes -- pump, cycling, medicine ball, and weight-lifting -- and also suffers with insomnia), I'm doomed to either not go to sleep, hear something in the night, or just wake up because I'm having troubling dreams.

I would blame it on the very, very hostile environment I live in, but in speaking with other people in the family, they have the same problems too.  Of course, they don't have all the rules to observe in bed that I do; pretty much, all I can do is either sleep or have sex.  No sleeping if he wants to have sex.  No reading, no playing with any anything because that's rude.  This rule, of course, only applies to me as PIC falls asleep with the iPhone in his hand and checks Twitter compulsively through the night when he's not looking at porn on the laptop.

And did I mention that the fan gives me allergies?  And adult swim gives me the heebie jeebies?  I loathe, detest, and despise Family Guy especially, although it's the second most intelligent out of a batch of really horrible cartoons.  I mean, really, if Family Guy was not a cartoon, who would watch it?  Try to picture all of these characters as real live people -- you'd find them repulsive and disgusting.  King of the Hill is a welcome addition to Adult Swim, but it's only 2 hours out of 9.  Yuck

So starting tonight, I will have to make peace with my insomnia.  I will have to somehow time feeling ready to go to bed enough to actually be able to sleep and not just stare wide-eyed into the darkness for hours.  I'm tired of the 3 am tantrums and ultimatums.  I just want to get some rest.

Jamie has a stomach flu so I kept him home.  I'm not feeling too hot myself, but I am psychosomatic, so I tend to ignore my own symptoms until they get really bad.  If he starts to run fever or throw up I will take him to the doctor.  With 5 confirmed cases of swine flu in Lafayette Parish, we can't be too cautious.  ESPECIALLY with Our Bunny.  I guess I will be going home to disinfect the house and check on him.  I just bought a new bottle of bleach yesterday...

Our Bunny will be attending school during the summer.  Her teacher is very pleased with her progress.  Our Bunny is the shining star of the classroom.  Of course, she is a little overzealous and knows all the answers and wants to share them so the teacher has to hold her back, but she said that the positive effect of this is that some of the more complacent students in the class are now getting competitive and wanting to participate more.  So it's all good for everybody.