So. I've been absent from blogging for a while. I got bored with it. Not with you guys, just with sharing my life, which seems really boring to me. We watch a lot of TV and movies, read a lot of books, work a lot. And that's pretty much it. Anyway. On to the topic of this post.
Any of you who know me AT ALL know that I hate exercise. Any shape, any form, I find it boring and horrid and torturous. As a result, I have tended toward the chubby all my life. It's partly genetic, as most of the women in my family, both past and present, have the same body type I do; but it also has a great deal to do with the fact that I am lazy and hate exercise and would much rather read a book that do any sort of physical activity (or cleaning, but that's a totally different story). The best shape I've ever been in has been because Amanda put forth a tremendous effort to drag my ass to the gym every day. The second best shape I've ever been in was partly because of Amanda and partly because I terrified myself - about a year after David and I got married, the comfy home life was great, but it had caused me to gain over 30 pounds in a year, so when Amanda proposed we train to walk a 50K, I was all in. And I walked and walked and walked and walked and lost about 30 pounds. It was great - and then the event came and went and I stopped walking.
Well. Now, I haven't gained all of that weight back, but I'm on my way. And I DON'T want to do it. I'm disgusted with myself, my clothes are getting tight, I'm tired all the time, and I'm really stressed out, so I need some stress relief. On top of it all, the dog's getting just a hair chubby too, making me feel all kinds of irresponsible for not walking him long enough or something. So I wanted to make a plan for myself. I talked to husband about it, and consummate non-plan, non-scheduler that he is, he didn't want to make a routine of anything. Which means, of course, nothing would ever happen if we just agreed to exercise whenever we felt like it. So I'm on my own, but okay with that. I just have to make sure I get up when the alarm goes off the first time instead of 30 minutes later (which is my usual), so I set a second alarm for about 3 minutes later across the room so I actually have to get out of bed to shut it off. I go down to our condo complex's little gym and hop on the elliptical for 20 minutes (not long, but I go as hard as I can) and then stretch. Come back home, eat breakfast and check my regular websites, then the dog and I go on a mile-long walk. Then shower, dress, head to work.
I've done it 2 days in a row now, and I'm pretty proud of myself. I'm sore all over - that elliptical is a great workout! - and I'm excited to do it again tomorrow. It's not a lot, but it's more than I was doing, and right now it makes me feel good. I know I need to do strength training too, but one habit at a time.
I'm just afraid of my bad exercise feelings coming back, and I'm afraid of my not-morning-person-ness getting in the way of my getting up on time. I'm afraid of failing myself and even more afraid of failing to give my pup the exercise he needs. And maybe that's what will keep me on track - the guilt I will feel if I don't do what I need to for the dog. It's too soon to tell - it's only been 2 days, after all - but I hope it sticks. I want to feel healthy. I want to wear a bikini for the first time in my adult life (maybe next summer, definitely not this year!). If I ever have kids, I want to set a good example for my kids. I want to have more energy during the day (which I did today) and feel happier and less stressed (which I also did today, despite the fact that my task list for the next 3 weeks is about 100 items long and my conference is currently looking at generating a $100,000 loss).
So what do you guys think? Any tips on sticking with exercise? Especially anyone who hates it as much as I traditionally do but has successfully managed to incorporate it. I'm simultaneously happy over the last 2 days and terrified that I'm going to fail at this again. I need a little more focus on the happy :)