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Current mood:  blank Category: Life
I close my eyes....I concentrate on breathing..I breath in slowly and fill my lungs.... and I release slowly until they are empty... I sigh.. I am in darkness. total darkness.. I listen to the furnace kick on and off.. I count the seconds that go by between each cycle it runs for a few rounds. I focus on my breathing once more. Total darkness. I listen to the sounds I am familiar with and I block them out I listen for a new sound. Is that the wind? I drift..to where i wonder... what is there i will see tonight? I drift.. I relax... I breath.. I sense something...what is it.. am I supposed to be scared or in wonder? I forgot to breath... I suck in air and it is thick... It feels heavy... I can't seem to suck in enough to to fill my lungs I gasp again and still it feels heavy... I am no longer drifting it seems I am swirling... the darkness is turning mixing with red..green.. was that white? i couldn't see it went by to fast.. I feel tight .. the atmosphere is closing in on me I am still gasping and my heart.. is it still beating.. it is faster then if I ran a block. I feel closed in I can't move the spinning the colors .. the sound.. the sound is vibrating my head.. is that high pitch wait it is low.. so low it rumbles.. yet it is high that it hurts.. my head hurts.. I feel numb and my chest.. I can't breath it feels as if someone has a hold of it and is squeezing it while try to pull the colors are angry mixing and shaping, hunting,evil. Focus. i say find the white light i say.. I can it is to fast I can't breath I am gonna die I don't want to yet I do just stop the hurt please!!!! Where am I? am I awake or dreaming? I don't hear anything... I still feel numb...wait I moved or did I? I see I see white.... i see red... blue..orange....I open my eyes slowly...it is bright.. black yellow. white... I see green... it looks like grass.. I see ripples.. water.. I walk towards it...I bend down to scoop a handful.. it taste real... A shadow..slips away... i am startled.. the image circles around fast.. Changes in color.. more shadows... feeling of heaviness comes over me I am scared.. I see a house?! I run. I am stiff.. I trip... I cry I stagger up and force my body to move.. it feels closer.. i feel it's greed, it's hunger, I feel the despair. I run ... am I getting closer to the house?
I run, I gasp, I curse, I scream, I am strong I am weak I don't want to die I want to die I hate making choices!!!! I scream.. I am falling... falling... falling... falling... it is getting darker..darker..darker..I feel light..I feel nothing.. I see black nothing but but.. black...Am I dead?
I feel pain...where is the pain coming from.. oh I feel as if I was in a cave in.. the ringing in my ears..pain.. I can't breath........I sit up pop open my eyes and GASP! Again.. again... oh I hurt... my head hurts I tingle like a pin cousin.. But now and I can breath.. focus..breath in out in out I see the green light blinking off the radio.. I hear the snoring of my dogs.. I hear the air blowing through the vent in the room.. I am awake!
It is still dark outside.
6:04 AM
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