PROLOGUE

     There it was again; that familiar pounding of her heart that only activated when she was in danger.  It was like a gathering of pulse that started in her chest, then quickly consumed her being, until her ears, her gut, even the flat of her tongue felt it – pounding like a sledgehammer from the inside, out.  The first time she felt it was the night she got married.  The only difference between that night and now was that then she sat cowering in a closet, more afraid to run than she was to stay.  Yet, now – today, she was stronger than she had ever been.  And, as she took the stairs three at a time, she wondered how the two compared and why she hadn’t been as strong all these years as she was now.  Wasn’t this situation equally as threatening?  Or, was it that she suddenly had a renewed will to live?

     Damita was happier today than she had ever been in her entire life.  She was marrying her soul mate; the man she would spend the rest of her life with.  Neal was a successful architect and she was a teacher at a prestigious prep school.  They had been dating for little more than a year when he popped the question – in of all places, Windows On The World.  He even got down on one knee to propose in front of a restaurant full of people.  It just didn’t get much better than that.  The only thing that would have made this a happier occasion is if her friends and family were as elated as she was.  Somehow, as charming as Neal was, he had gotten off on the wrong foot with both her mother and her girlfriends.  They thought he was pompous and a bit of a narcissist.  But, they didn’t know him like she knew him.  He was gentle and kind and he cared for her, unlike anyone else ever had.  He was all she ever wanted; all she ever needed.  And, he was hers.

     Damita’s mother stood in the doorway watching her.

     “You are absolutely beautiful.”

     “Oh Momma, you startled me.”

     “You know what your grandmother used to say:  ‘Why you jumpin’ like that – you must not be livin’ right.’  Or, maybe, it’s not you that’s not livin’ right.”

     “Momma, you promised you would behave yourself today.”

     “Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I know.  But, I wouldn’t be your mother if I didn’t ask you one more time whether you’re sure this is what you want to do.”

     “I’m 110% sure.”

     “Mr. Brook’s Brothers is outside barking orders to everybody.  I swear, I don’t believe I’ve ever seen a man take that much interest in a wedding in my entire life.  He’s surveyed everything, including the doggone flowers.  It just ain’t natural.”

     “You should be happy he’s taking an interest.  He’s only doing it because he loves me and he wants me to have the best wedding day ever.”

     “Uhm, uhm.  Are you sure it’s not because he’s controlling as hell and he’s paying for the wedding, so he wants to make sure he gets exactly what he paid for?”

     “So, what’s wrong with that.  Neal didn’t get where he is by squandering his money.  It’s one of the things I love about him.  I feel safe with him – like I can count on a secure future.”

     “Security comes from within baby – not from a man.”

     Damita was so wrapped up in her impending nuptials she couldn’t be bothered to truly pay attention to the importance of what her mother was saying.

     “Yes Momma, I know.  I know.  But, you don’t have to keep telling me these things.  You and Daddy raised me to be an independent young woman.  Just because I’ve fallen in love, doesn’t mean I’ve forgotten everything you both taught me.”

     It’s just your choice of words Damita; words like ‘security’ and ‘fallen’ in love.  Words like that have always been red flags for me when it comes to relationships.

     “But I’m not you.  You and Daddy were married for 42 years before he died.  Things have changed quite a bit since the days when you got married.”

     “Yeah, yeah, yeah.  I know, I’m a dinosaur, but I’m not so much of a dinosaur that I don’t see you possibly giving up the better part of what makes you – you.”

     “I promise you, that will never happen.”

     “I hope not.”

     “This is supposed to be a happy occasion.  I want you to walk with me down the isle and I want you to be happy for me – Okay?  Neal is everything I’ve always wanted in a man.  I’ve got a great job.  I’m healthy – and dare I say, not unattractive.  Momma, I’m sitting on top of the world.”

     “Just don’t forget that you are still ALL of those things, with or without a man.”

     “I won’t.”

     The minister’s secretary peeked her head in the door.

     “Are you ready,” she asked?

     “Yes, I am,” Damita responded emphatically.

     Her mother wanted to be excited for her; could see how happy her daughter was.  But, Karen knew within every fiber of her being that Neal was not the right man for her daughter.  But, often times, the most any parent could do was tread softly in explaining their viewpoint.  There were certain things that your children had to learn on their own.  She just hoped the lesson wouldn’t come with too great a cost.  But, she knew, no matter what, she would be there to cushion her daughter if she fell.

     “What is he doing here,” Neal asked.

     “Who, baby?”

     “You know exactly who.  What is your ex doing here?”

     “We’ve been married all of an hour and you’re jealous already,” Damita teased.

     “Damita, I’m not joking.  Who invited him?”

     “My mom – and me,” she added – not wanting Neal to resent her mother.

     “I figured it was your mother.  All I want to know is why she despises me so much.  I have been nothing but cordial and respectful to the woman.  Yet, she likes that nobody better than she does her own son-in-law.”

     “Brandon is like family.  My whole family – and I, have known Brandon since we were both in kindergarten together.”

     “How would you feel if I invited one of my old girlfriends to our wedding?  You wouldn’t like it very much would you?”

     “Okay, I understand.  I’m sorry.  I probably should have asked you first.  I just didn’t think it would be that big a deal.”

     “It’s a big fucking deal!”

     It was the first time Damita had heard Neal curse or even raise his voice.  It was something she hoped she wouldn’t hear often.

     The wedding reception continued without event.  Damita tried her best to steer Brandon clear of Neal and with the hundred or so guests in attendance her task wasn’t too difficult.  She considered enlisting the aid of her best friend, Carmella, but she knew that would mean explaining why.  And, the last thing she wanted to do was lend credence to everyone’s doubts about her new husband, especially Carmella.

     “Girl, you okay?”

     “Yeah.  I’m good.  I guess I’m just a little tired.”

     “I knew it!  That’s why your ass got married.  You’re pregnant aren’t you?”

     “No, I’m not pregnant.  But, I do plan on trying as soon as possible.  After all, I’m 35 years old.  I’m not getting any younger and that damned clock is getting louder and louder with each birthday.”

     “That’s not why you got married is it; because of your biological clock.”

     “No, Carmella, I married Neal because I absolutely, positively adore him.”

     “I’m sorry girl, I just don’t see it.”

     Carmella glanced over at Neal, adjusting his tie, so that it was perfectly straight.  She didn’t mention it to Damita at that moment, but it occurred to her that he had all the earmarks of a serial killer, with all that fidgeting and adjusting – the perfection.  Then, as if on cue, he did what he always did, stared directly at Damita.  Damita and Neal had been dating for over a year, but from the very first time she met him, Carmella always noticed how he never, ever allowed Damita to get too far away from his birds-eye view.  Damita thought it was endearing.  Carmella thought it was just plain ole creepy.  She had known her share of obsessive, controlling men.  And, in her experience, relationships with men such as Neal, always ended badly.

     As Carmella watched Neal watching Damita, she sensed something different in him.  There was a certain air of cockiness that was somehow more intense than it had been before.  That’s when it occurred to Carmella what it was.  He had won ‘the prize.’  He no longer had to play the role for Damita’s family or friends.  She was now his wife and there was nothing any of them could do about it.

     As Carmella and Neal both eye-balled one another, neither of them willing to admit defeat, Brandon joined Carmella and Damita on the other side of the room.

     He grabbed both Carmella and Damita around the neck simultaneously, hugging them to him.

     “So I guess that leaves you Carmella.  This one here has broken my heart and married someone else, so I guess I’ll have to marry you Carmella.”

     “Uh, uh, I ain’t nobody’s booby prize.”

     “Naw, naw, it’s not like that.  All these years I’ve been biding my time, getting cozy with Damita in order to get to her hot, Latina friend.”

     “I know that’s right,” Carmella agreed.