Like we always do about this time...

I was thinking about Crimestoppers recently and how it is really kind of funny.  Every local newscast has a version of Crimestoppers where they tell you about a recent crime and then ask you to call in if you can help solve the crime.  This is basically the police saying, "look, we can't do our job.  We really want to, but it is just too hard.  Can you help us out?"

Imagine if I went on television and said, "look, I'm trying to reconcile this bank account and I just can't find where some of the money went.  If you think you can figure it out give me a shout sometime."

I know it isn't the same thing, but it is still amusing to me.
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Have you ever been about to pull into a parking space at someplace like Wal-Mart and discovered that there is a shopping cart in the space?  Who is it that is so lazy that they can't take their shopping cart to one of the return bins.  Other people end up with dinged up cars because of someone else's laziness.

Look, if I can limp my multiple-sclerosis-having self around and take my cart back, so can everyone else.  If you can't take your cart back you shouldn't be allowed to use a cart.  Try carrying all of your groceries by hand for a while and then see if you can't make it to the return stall.

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Speaking of Wal-Mart (again), I was there to pick up one of my prescriptions the other day.  Appearantly so was everyone else in Warren County.  While I'm waiting in the monster of a line I notice that I'm standing next to an aisle of almost exclusively butt-related products.  The Anal Aisle, if you will.  There were things to make you poop.  Things to make you stop pooping.  Things for burning butts.  Things for itching butts.  Hundreds of butt-related products.

Realizing that I am in the Anal Aisle I begin to grin like an idiot.  My grade-school sense of humor is killing me to the point that I think I'm going to start laughing out loud, so I have to stare at the floor so people don't think I'm nuts.

Once I get myself together I notice that the end of the Anal Aisle has only two non-butt related products - condoms and stop-smoking aids.  I almost lost it again.

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Let me share with you one of my most embarrassing moments ever.  This should be at treat since I usually only want people to laugh with me, not at me.

I had a Psych class my freshman year of college.  Before class one day I go to the bathroom.  While I'm in the stall someone opens the door and says "hi".  I assume that they were talking to someone in the hall.  The door closes and no one comes in.

After I finish I go to the door.  It is locked.  I'm stuck in the bathroom.  My claustrophobia starts to kick in and I begin to bang on the door in a near-panic.  I'm yelling, "somebody help!  I'm locked in here!" 

Eventually I hear a girl's voice say, "are you locked in?"
Me: "YES!"
Her: "Hold on, I'll go get someone".

Minutes later I hear keys in the door and a janitor lets me out.  Who was my savior?  A group of super-hot sorority girls who can't stop giggling at me.  My face turned a shade of red that I didn't know the human body could achieve.  I muttered my thanks and went my way.

Now here's a question; what idiot says "hi" before locking a bathroom door instead of "is there anybody in here"?  Better yet, why randomly lock a bathroom at 1:00 in the afternoon?

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That is all for now.  More ramblings will surely follow.

Your pal,
Corey