Okay, here goes, I have to try to fit a week in europe into a couple of paragraphs. I know I should have posted a couple of times, if only for the sake of accuracy, but my quick descent into a world of cheap beer and nasty sweaty hangovers curbed my ability to see a computer screen, let alone sit at one long enough to formulate coherent thoughts.What follows may be blurry and vague in a lot of places but then so were Amsterdam, Hamburg and Berlin.

Amsterdam was our first stop. We (my brother Bob was my unfortunate partner in grime) managed to find it okay, it wasn't too hard, we just got on a plane that was flying there. Finding the hostel was a different matter, we saw a lot of back streets before we got there and even managed to get propositioned by an aging Englishman with a little dog: he wanted to bring us home in case we were lost or scared. Now, I'm fifteen stone, Bob is about thirteen(sorry Bob) I at least applaude his optimism and self confidence, he was only ten stone at the most and no more than 5'6. We didn't do amsterdam as you would expect it to be done, there was no pot smoking and the only breasts we saw were in the sex museum (there were lots in there though). We did the sights and got involved in a water fight outside an Irish bar. The one thing we learned was that if you allow hash to be smoked in a hostel bar the bar staff are always very slow but as happy as any I have ever met.

Hamburg started badly. Our hostel was just opposite the main railway station and anyone who has travelled anywhere knows that most junkies and dealers are avid train spotters. They hang around stations in their droves. Outside the hostel was the "Scandinavian bar". I was disappointed to discover that it didn't contain the leggy blondes and saunas that you would expect. The name actually seemed to come from the fact that, to drink there, you had to look like you had just plundered your way around europe with a bloody big axe. The rest of Hamburg was wonderful. It is a beautiful city, with warm and friendly people and absolutely no Irish bars that we could see.

Berlin, for me, was the highlight of the trip. The city itself has history coming out its arse. We saw the wall, the reichstag, the brandenburg gate, the museum island and about four million extremely beautiful women. The hostel was amazing, with all the facilities your average backpacker needs; a bar, cheap food, beds and all the Australians you can handle. Due to the mother of all hangovers on saturday morning we chose to take it easy and visit the park and the zoo. I'm really glad we did because if we hadn't we would have missed out on the greatest off all the sights we took in; the Berlin lamppost museum. Fantastic, a place that dogs with full bladders can only dream of, and amazingly it was free.

Well, that's it, the severely abridged account of my first foray into the world of hostels, backpacks, germans and historic street lighting. Come September I'll be doing the big tour. Hopefully I'll be able to keep the brain in gear long enough on that one to post here when I can remember clearly what I have done.