people.  hell, i honestly can't stand to be around people lately, but leave it friends to drag me out to a club tonight.  lucky me.  no idea where we're going, but it doesn't matter because honestly anyplace is better than within these four walls.  i've been worse off.  i'm maybe not depressed.  probably just another manic attack.  probably.  i usually don't eat then either.  it should wear off in a couple days.  it usually does.  i should probably go get meds, but i haven't been that bad since my first deployment.  recently close, but no.  ha, didn't take them then either.  fuck that.  wait...ok.  just for clarity:  "no, i'm not going to try and kill myself again."  i'm just on a bad headtrip.  withdrawn.  overcritical.  etc, etc.  same old shit.  those who've known me for years know this.  thank god i have a few good friends.  more convenient than couselors.  counselors don't ever say anything anyways.  they just sit there drawing pictures.  probably why i've never gone to one...well, except for in iraq, i was escorted under watch, but that's a different story...not so much, but i'll just say it was.  glad i'm getting out of here.  i need a drink tonight.  thank god for good friends. 

real friends are always there when you need them and always seem to come around at just the right times.   like they know exactly when you need them and just show up.  ignorantly, i wish someone else i knew were like that.