this is about love, and, freedom, and aloneness. and understanding it.

its about being responsible. mature

take this personally, because i am talking to you this time.

i guess you could say i'm grown. and by now i should have everything sorted out. it doesn't matter if you believe me or not because you haven't been checking up on me.

but anyways, i'm tired of being so good at being "ok". sometimes i envy those that can just pour out everything to a stranger. and i'm tired of being the stranger. people like me don't trust people. it's not cuz we don't want to, or that we cant learn to, but we have no one to trust. and that doesn't mean that nobody is trustworthy, but that nobody is there.

i can't wait to be able to express myself the way i want to and say what i need to say. and it sucks that the only time you will finally be able to listen is when it will be too late for you to respond. so if you have something to say, say it now. because i won't be here for long, and it's bittersweet. i keep pretending that you will actually do more than read this over and over. and i keep writing because maybe if you get tired of reading you will stop and realize that i really mean this. this is your opportunity and if you keep second and third guessing, you will miss out on it. we both will. so don't fight your feelings.