We finished the f*cker on Monday (the 17th) and praise Jebus (or maybe Slash, he’s deity worthy) we’re happy to be done with it! It’s HUGE! Just buy it you cheap bastards! It took 19 days of recording spread over a day more than 4 weeks. 3 guitar amps, 1 dead bass amp, 6 guitars, 2 basses, 2 snares, one vocal mic and a few bleeding eardrums later it’s going to bust into your home, blow your mind, drink your booze, kick your dog, blow up your video (ok DVD player) and probably sex your auntie’s on its way out.
A famous Nashville session muso once said that recording is 95% waiting around and 5% terror. It’s kinda like that but there are a few stopovers in between. The unavoidable cabin fever produces some quotable quotes though, so rather than waffle on with a blow by blow description of boring details like who went to the toilet when, what they’re mood was, level of excremental success achieved and what manner of pant they had to pull down here’s a few choice Koritni studioisms that came about in the making of the yet to be named Koritni sequel. Enjoy:
- “Are you ready for your Cockmeat Sandwich”…this was a Dan Leffler regular while pushing pro tools buttons. I don’t know what movie he’s quoting but by the American hick voice and the content I’m guessing it’s a classy affair. It’s entertaining to hear but sho nuff I wouldn’t wanna order me one o’ those “cockmeat sandwiches”. I think this term was used more frequently on the days he didn’t manage to ride his bike before getting to the studio. For some reason there’s a link.
- Insert Indian accent here, “Oh my God, cricket”. Yep, during the 95% waiting we watched more than enough cricket. This was a Chris special.
- “Slut”! While at a glance there’s nothing special (or particularly polite) about this one, it was pulled out by many a band member watching female-hosted cooking shows also during the 95%. Looks bad in print but the sentiment was good. I personally have a bit of a thing for cooking show women and I know this penchant is shared by some of the other band members. So we can swear, but we can cook as well.
- “Stop tuning and start shredding”…a request from Anton aimed at the Prince who given the freedom to do so, will tune his Firebird 24/7.ps that’s not a euphemism for something more interesting, or body fluidy.
- “Well…you know…that’s kind of sh*t”. Invariably The Princes response when asked what he thinks of any take he’s done; regardless of the fact that it was perfect.
- “Casualty of War”…Antons description of guitar parts that he decided wouldn’t make the cut during pre-production. All POW’s were treated with the utmost humanity.
- “Monovowel”…Leffler’s nickname for Lex. Russian names aren’t exactly treasure troves of erm..vowels.
- Phoenetically this one goes something like “hucken oaf haant”…If like myself or Leffler you grew up in “Straya” Australia, you’ll have heard many a bloke use this poetic phrase applicable to almost any scenario. Replace the H’s with an F and a C if you’re confused.
- My personal favourite; Lex’s joke. It went something like this: A dude goes to prison and is shown to his cell. After the guard leaves, his new cellmate declares, “Alright we’re gonna play mummy’s and daddy’s, now which do you wanna be, mummy or daddy”? Choosing the safest option the newby replies “ahh, I’ll be the daddy”. Cell mate answers, “alright then, come and suck mummy’s dick”. Many thanks to the original author of this particular gem, whoever you are. It bought us all such joy.
That about wraps it up. We now have the traditional wait for mixing and mastering and then you can have it….for some money of course J
Maybe next time I’ll write something nicer……or maybe not.
Rock on people. We’ll see you on tour, preferably at the bar!!!!!
Luke