), but PLEASE DO NOT WASTE YOUR VOTE!!!
To help you make up your mind I've broken it down as follows:

Vote NDP if someone in your family is treaty and/or you do not have a
day job. The NDP is the only federal party that has really raised
native issues during the campaign, so your tax-free gas is safe with
them. Plus the NDP do have a number of native candidates, though they
might cause Tina Keeper to lose her seat. Also, if you have a day job,
you should know that the NDP might cause some job losses. On the other
hand they want to crank up the E.I. payments, which means that very
soon you could have a government subsidy to pursue your other valuable
Thug activities like selling drugs to children, hitting grandma on the
head with a beer bottle or recording rap songs about how you have no
choice but to lead the life you do.

Vote Liberal if you are related to Phil Fontaine. I'm kidding. Many
people think the Liberals are running on a platform that aims to save
the environment. This is not true. They are running on a platform that
I can best describe as "Our guy sucks ass, but at least he's not
Stephen Harper." I know what you're thinking... "Who the fuck is
Stephen Harper?" Well, he's like the 50 Cent of Canadian politics:
Nobody really likes him anymore, but you have to kind of respect the
fact that he gets stuff done. Bottomline, this is not the time to vote
Liberal. Let them sack their leader *heheh* and get a new one.

Vote Conservative if your family was assimilated during the
Residential School era. Ouch! Haha, hurts cuz it's true! Seriously
tho, no self-respecting thug can vote Conservative because they want
to expand adult sentencing to 14 year olds. Now, I know many 14 year
olds are prolly saying "cool, I can go to Stony", but wait. Do you
think this new policy will apply uniformly to all crimes committed by
all types of people? No, it only applies to stuff that native thugs do
like steal cars or rob Domos. The crimes that only white people do
like tax evasion or child pr0nography are not affected by these
changes. That's right, the conservatives found a way to be racist
without being racist.

Vote Green if you like driving a Hybrid, in which case you're not a
Thug. I know it's tempting to vote Green because two of a Thug's
favorite things are green (If you guessed money and weed you're a
nerd, the correct answers are Dank and Gwap). Face it, the Thug
lifestyle is not good for the environment. Pumping diesel in the hood
24/7 from huge SUVs weighed down with luxury rims and stereos all the
while tossing the leftover bones from hot wings out the window? The
Green party is not down with your Gangsta Party.

Finally, as a Thug you might be interested in voting for "The Bloc."
But this is not a "Bloc" as in "I'm standin' on the Block all day",
but instead the kind of "Bloc" that seeks to defend Quebecois
interests in the House of Commons. If you don't know what 'Quebecois'
is, ahhh... nevermind, what's your favorite song on the new Young
Jeezy album?


3. Can't I just vote for Obama?

No. If you're a Canadian Thug, you can't vote in the American election
because you are not a citizen. If you're an American Thug, you can't
vote in the American election because of your criminal record.


4. Why shouldn't I just stay home? It's not like any of the
politicians are going to do anything for me...

It's not about having them do stuff for you, it's about getting
involved in the way legitimate business is conducted in this country.
Today it's voting, tomorrow it's owning your own business instead of
running a line. Trust me, real gangsters vote. And not only that, they
make big campaign contributions. But that's for next lesson. In the
mean time, refuse to accept your lot in life, cast off society's
expectations, get your ass off the couch and make your voice heard!

Plus, you've been hogging Guitar Hero all day.