Current mood:
talkative
Category: Dreams and the Supernatural
OK.... so... ive hardly been on myspace.... ive been recording my album... im in love with it... im in love to say the least! ... erm... yeah.... love the album... will talk about that later...
BUT BLOODY HELL - i speak a bit of french, so i wont let the funky music do the talking... right now... but.... my female best freind is abso-fucking-lutely-crazy?!?!?!
its 3;40am.... i have just got back from her birthday party... which ended at 11 cos her psycho boyfreind is a psycho.... and yeah... fuck me...
i feel like ive reverted back into the child of my former self after hearing the arguments tonight.... i feel so empty.... im playing my danelectro.... nashville tuning... got a j on the go... and yeah... god.. what a life?.... ever feel like you start going somewhere and then something really sets you back... tonight i remembered exactly who i am and where in the world i have come from... which aint exactly the privelidged background...
i had to leave my freind with wise words of "we make our own happiness..." though i feel i should have added "...and our own misery...." but i just walked home... which is no further then a 7 minute walk from hers to mine in cowboy boots.... clip clop clip clop... hehehe.. but arrrgh?! my mind is frazzelled!
i still get stupidly nervous about doing things and anxious over the future and its possible events and i also get sad about things that have happened in this lifetime... and.... well... id really like to start to get to grips with the "now" .... ive not really gotten to know "now" before... ive met "now" a few times.... "now" lives in a woodland in an almost forgotten part of my mind where yellow people live with blue boys and it all makes perfect nonsense... usually accompanied by some king crimson, but for now, im listening to frank sinatra sings for only the lonely...
im going to rant here.. because i can cos its my fucking blog... but.... what an arsehole that cunt is!!! he nearly fucking smashed the back door in?! fucking arsehole... she has a 3 year old who was in bed (yes 3!!! soo sweet x x x *not broody* x x x ) ... but ow rude of him.... he turns around and calls him the bubbis dad, and he does fuck all for her... arghghghgh?!?!?!
they will probably get back together in a week and i shouldnt care or write any of this down... and ill probably delete it tomorow......
but... it really hurts that she doesnt see that she can do so much more with her life....
am i really appreciating the life ive tried to map out for myself...? theres a lot more to appreciate then i have been.... i miss having someone tell you when somethings working.... ...i miss poetry.... and poetical use of language, lingle and 'guage...pronounced gwidge?
?!?!?!! so there we have it...
i dont make much sense to me either...
....on a lighter note.... im picking up a bass at 1pm tomorow... an old 70s bass... it might be shit.... but it might not be.... im really scared in case im late.... or if i get murdered on the way.... i mustnt talk to strangers... and i suppose the man im meeting isnt cos ive spoken to him in email.... BUT DOES IT MAKE IT RIGHT?!?! probably not...
failing that, i might buy myself something nice.... like.... a proper necklace for my pendant... have you seen my pendant? tis very special... got a few specials, but this one is almost sacred to me.... tis a moon.. a sun... a person... a star... the universe.... all in one.... with a blue moonstone.... my favourite!
im going now cos my thumb hurts...
oh one more thing... i met derren brown.... it was in a dream.... so i didnt really meet him.... in fact i didnt really meet him in the dream.... he kept walking into this room from a white door behind me and leaving through a door to my right.... and kept doing that.... i was meant to be watching his show with a few dream strangers... they didnt murder me.. cos i woke up the next day and twittered it...
*looks up at a magnet stuck to my lamp that says "you big knob jockey" .... nice*
BYE! X XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX X ...
if youve read this.... ...sorry?