The events of the summer thus far:

-Took my bike to Madison, then left it there because the bus driver was a dick

-Made the decision to pursue Advanced Certification from the American Board of Opticianry

-Threw a party to celebrate R. Kelly's freedom.

-Followed up the party by throwing my first alleycat, a R. Kelly-themed jam.

-Received a phone call from a friend, who confessed that she possessed for-real clairvoyant abilities

-Found a bottle of lorazepam on Michigan Ave. Took some with Pam and played a video game where you can cut peoples' heads off with a chainsaw.

-Played a decent live set at The Burlington, the entirety of which can be downloaded here.

-Finally saw Gatekeeper at a Fulton Market party. Aldo and I stole sedatives from an abused cat.

-Met a really nice deaf, albino pit bull named Kilo at a hybrid Mexican/hipster block party on July 4th. Almost got shot with some cannonball-style fireworks.

-Sold my house.

-Went to Pitchfork Festival, realized that 90% of festival goers never leave the house, which is why they act embarrassingly in public. Was bored.

-Bought a pinata.

-Went to Wizard Quest, kind of a cross between Dungeons + Dragons and a scavenger hunt. One of three things worth seeing in Wisconsin.

-Got my bike back.