Today my brother posted...

Thursday, December 06, 2007

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Lies Lies Lies!!!!! Current mood: vexed OH MY GOD!  I am going crazy!  Every single day we have to talk to Chatman about the fact that we won't tolerate him constantly lieing to us and every day we catch him in more lies than the day before.  We just did his practice spelling test and he misspelled 8 of the 13 words.  I told him to go rewrite each of the misspelled words 10 times - this is a common thing that happens every week.  He goes up stairs and then comes back down and says "I was looking over my practice test and didn't spell 'Irish' wrong."  Well I distinctly remember the fact that he spelled "Irish" as "Iresh" and I even pointed this out to him when we were going over the test.  I looked down at the paper and what do you know, the word was spelled correctly, the only problem was that I could clearly see the "e" had been erased out and the "i" was put in with a different color.  He then looks right at me and tells me he didn't change it. Oh I just wanted to explode!  Then the topper was when I looked under the spelling words and found a rough version of my signature 3 or 4 times.  According to him it was nothing more than doodling  because "I doodle like that sometimes" rrrriiiiiiggggghhhhhttttttt.  I even showed him my signature in his homework journal and he still tried denying it.....ARGH!!!!   Sure when I was 12 my mom (Hi Mom!) found a full sheet of her signature - not that I was planning any nafarious acts, I was just bored in math class, but that mattered not.  I still got in trouble for it as I should have in hindsight.  UGH! I have no idea what to do to try and bring this to an end.  If he is this bad when he is 8 I can't wait for him to be 16......perhaps I will have to find out which military school in Alaska Ted "Theodore" Logan was going to be shipped off too!    Ok, the baby smells to high heaven so I had better take care of it......weaping, weaping, weaping.....   I know the really funny part of this is that it all started with his spelling test and I'm sure half of this thing is misspelled 3:31 PM - 4 Comments - 2 Kudos - Add Comment

To which I responded...

From my own personal experiance... Chatman, Chatman, Chatman... how many times do I have to tell you it is not your parent's signature that you need to practice but rather the signature of your teacher. Soon your parents will start sending you to school with notes and other items for the teacher to look over and they will want you to have the teacher sign the item and bring it home to them. This will mean more tedious (sp?) lessons that you will have to be put through at home and well that crap just won't fly. Don't worry kid. As your booze swilling, tattoo artist, motorcycle riding, all around scumbag Uncle I will be here to guide you through these annoying trials of life. You know you can call me anytime with questions on everthing from forging names, checks, and copies of your parents car keys (but that last one only after your thirteenth birthday... I must have standards.) Also as you get older you will realize the importance of these early lessons and how they help you to get away with nefarious (sp?) acts later in life. Seriously, how do you expect to sneak your prom date in and out of the house (let alone hide the fact that she's three months pregnant) if you can't master simple forgery. Contact me and we will discuss further.

Uncle Ben

P.S. Have your father or even my father build you a little safe using the antique front door of an apartment building mailbox. They will think it's something neat you can use for change but will become instrumental in giving you a place to hide your smokes, drugs, and bondage porn. Also keep items to mask your body oder and breath. Trust me, mothers can smell evil on there kids from across the room but if you at least put forth the effort to hide it they might let you slide... never underestimate the power of deniability (sp?)

Posted by Frank-N-Berry on Thursday, December 06, 2007 at 7:44 PM
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